Ode To Mascara

BEFORE

AFTER

The Packer Panda

As most of you know, I married into a Green Bay Packer family.  And some of you long time brainure readers know that I make these panda heads.

So this year, for Christmas, I've made my father-in-law a Packer Panda.

It looks like this:

And I don't have to worry about him seeing this before Sunday because he's not on facebook and doesn't read this (thankfully).
And I know Matthew and MICK won't forward this to anyone, right Mick??  ;)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE, TURDS!
Be careful out there, kids.
Enjoy time spent with those you love & don't ever take it for granted.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmahanukkwanzaakuh!!

The Coke Whore Gold Chain

One weekend, about 5 years ago, me and the girls (Pannacakes & Krackwhore) went to NYC for a May birthdays trip.

We went to see Fischerspooner at a club in Tribeca (which was killer) and afterwards found a bar to grab a seat and get loud and rowdy.
Or in Pannacake's case, angry & sleepy.

At one point, it was time for me to visit the ladies room and I went downstairs to see another girl waiting outside the bathroom door.
She rolled her eyes and said she'd been waiting a while - we knocked.
There came a raspy voiced, "Hold on a fucking minute!" from inside.
A few minutes later a drunk chick in a tight black dress and heels staggers out and starts talkin' shit to us, obviously upset we'd ruined her bathroom party.
I say obviously because once she staggered out, a gentleman, of about 65 or 70 with white anchorman hair and a pimp 'stache follows her.
He's wearing a black suit with a black mock turtleneck.
He also has white powder on his lapel.

Rockstar gramps, fo'sho.
In my head, I'm high-five-ing him & laughing my ass off.  In real life, I have a full bladder and hope this drunk hooker don't start a fight I gotta finish.
The girl that was waiting goes & comes out, we laugh about what we just saw, I go, bladder happy once again.

I return to my beer and my friends and tell them what transpired.
Pannacakes makes a monster noise, takes an angry swing at someone for waking her up, then puts her head back down.

Moments later, the drunk hooker staggers towards our table.  She holds out her hand and from it drops a gold neck chain.  She says, "Yo, I'm sorry for talkin' shit at you downstairs when you was just tryin'a take a piss.  As a sign of my apology, I would like you to have this.  Its a really nice necklace."
She drops it in my hand and wanders off to return to her gentleman booger sugar friend.

This is the necklace she gave me:

Not as OG as gramps.

I still have it - but probably not for long, which is why I'm telling its story and snappin' a photo of it.

Thinkin' about putting it towards some creative jewelry ideas.

Details on that some other time.

YouTubesday - DamnItsGood808

The Help

Sunday Confession - Internal Battle

I haven't been posting on here much recently.
My attentions and creative inspirations are currently focused elsewhere.
Getting ready for Christmas and trying to get the rest of the Craft It Forwards done before the year ends.
I just haven't had too much to say here.

I will admit that I'm in a constant internal battle with the things that I would really like to write here but haven't because it puts too much out there.
Things that would open me up & make me vulnerable.
Also, I think some of the ideas I've had for things to post kinda make me sound like an emo ass.

Here's an example:

A while back I posted a crappy photo of a piece that took me about 2 yrs to finish.
BBI & my friend, Martha, asked some questions about it and I was going to do a little diddy explaining the whole thing, but then realized that it was turning into somewhat of a therapy session.

How much of that type of shit do I really want to put out there?

I'm just not sure of how real to keep this or what you'd all care to hear.
Maybe I need to go back to just keeping up with this blog as something for myself instead of considering you turds all the time.

Most days it feels like no one's reading this anyway.
I mean, seriously.....The top 2 most hit Brainure posts are:

1. How To Make A Pillory (or Stockade)
2. For The Person Who Has Everything But Can't Breed

If that tells you anything.

So why do I blog?
Because I enjoy sharing things with you & hope that you also enjoy these little peeks into my noggin.
It makes me happy that I can bring my friends with me on vacations & crap via my phone, laptop, or ipad.  Its like you turds are with me all the time, no matter what part of the country/world we are.
Also, I figure when I'm a million years old, alone, and senile, I can look back on these with fond memories.

Blarf....I'm over-thinking again, aren't I?
I should just keep in mind the name of this thing and post everything that goes though my head with wreckless abandon.
Its not like I'll be running for president someday.

Just Because

These trees make me want to turn our house into Whoville.

YouTubesday - Onision

Public Service Announcement.



Reminds me of my prom date (story for another time).

Florence + the Machine - Ceremonials

If I could be any one else in the whole world, I would want to be Florence.
Even though she doesn't ride rollercoasters.
The music she makes is rollercoasters enough.



There's something magical about the mix of her voice, the drums, the harp, the lyrics....that pulls on you emotionally.  Well, on me anyway.  I can't speak for you turds.
I listened to this first song, "Only If For A Night" and was in tears about half way through.
The song's about her dead grandmother visiting her in a dream and giving her advice.

But it isn't sadness that makes me teary eyed, its an overwhelming amazement & joy that her music (and music in general) can make such an impact on people and evoke such emotion.

I've posted before an excerpt from her website that sums it up perfectly.  Go check that out.

You know how artists who find their niche and particular sound, the music starts to kinda run together a bit and each song sounds a bit similar to the one before it?
Florence doesn't do that.
Yes, you can definitely tell its them, but there's no running together.
I was worried about that with this album...how could they top Lungs?

Well, I'm insanely happy to say, they've done it.

TT - Bedspread Jesus

Every year, when we go to Green Bay, WI for my mother-in-law's birthday Packer game, we stay at this place.
I think almost every room has a different bedspread in it.
This year, we noticed our motel room bedspread had these little Jesus faces all over it.

Happy December 1st!

WTH Weds - Key West Faves

Here are some of my favorite pics from Matthew's birthday trip:

YouTubesday - Boonehams

Also check out Boonehams' Inappropriate Soundtracks.  Those are quite good fun.

A Very Special Thanksgiving Special

We weren't feelin' up for more traveling (by plane, train, or automobile) this Thanksgiving, a bit under the weather with coughing and sneezings and ugh & whooped from being on the go non-stop for the past month.

So, today we stayed home and ate in waves.

First wave: Breffass Casserole (later deemed "breffass brownies" by Matthew)

Consisted of a rolled out pillsbury crescent roll in the bottom of a sprayed baking dish, cooked and crumbled jimmy dean reduced fat sausage on top of the crescent roll, cooked and crumbled thick cut low sodium bacon mixed into the sausage, 5 eggs scrambled with 1/3 cup of milk poured over the meat and bread, 2 slices of smoked provo & 2 slices of sharp cheddar broken into pieces and dropped into that shit in the baking dish.
Bake it forever on 350 until it looks like you wanna eat it (about 40mins).

Waves 2 & 2.5:  Cream Cheese with Cranberry Salsa and cinnamon/gingerbread pita chips, followed by ghetto baked brie on top of a slab of boar's head turkey, served with crackers & cranberry salsa.

Cranberry salsa is 1 bag of cranberries, 1 jalapeno, 1 bunch of green onions, 1 bunch of cilantro, 2 limes juiced, and 3/4 cup of sugar.  Throw all that shit into a culinary robot & viola, you got yerself some kickass cransalsa.
Ghetto baked brie is a wheel of brie sitting on top of a slab of turkey sitting on top of another pillsbury crescent roll with the edges of the bread all folded up and around the cheese and stuff.  Baked at 350 for a little while.

Wave 3: Sweet Potato Soup, Craisin/Walnut/Goat Cheese salad, boar's head turkey sammiches on home made italian herb bread (with baconnaise)

Sweet Potato soup recipe is here.
You're smart enough to figure out the salad and sammich yourself.

I'm thankful for my husband & my home.
And the cats.
And pork.
And cheese.
And rollercoasters.
And bouncehouses.


Matthew & Snoop are thankful for naps.

WTH Weds: AHS & The Yellow Wallpaper

Matthew's been listening to me for years, talkin' about The Yellow Wallpaper.
A story that stuck with me after a community college literature class I took in '99? I think.
The imagery Charlotte described was fascinating to me....all the "what ifs" you could derive from it.

It made me so insanely happy that it was referenced on this week's American Horror Story.

And I had two "I told you so" moments...

1. When Tate unzipped the rubber suit.

2. When they committed crazy ass Viv.

I feel good about going into a mid-season finale....
wait....
are they doing that like they are with Walking Dead?

They said 'next Wednesday on...." right?
Eh...I still feel good.

On a side note, its a little bit funny that when American Horror Story was done, Matthew flipped it from the dvr to a random skinemax flick called Life On Top.
Then changed it to Time Bandits after shouting, "midgets!" just as Life On Top was getting to the final pocketchange* shot.

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*haha...get it?  pocketchange.  cuz softcore doesn't exactly have money shots.

TT - Airport Pals

Remember when we were coming back from Boston and had delays and met these fine folks at the airport bar?

Oh, sorry - you might not remember cuz I only posted their pic on the book of face.
Anyway - here they are* as mentioned at the end of that post from September.

While we chatted at that airport bar, we found out that he (left), Tom, was a home brewer.  We discussed how fruit brews were complicated because the pectin turns the mash into sort of a jelly when temperatures rise.  We told him about the different pumpkin ales we've tried and which ones we liked best, etc.
As we were talking, you could see his wheels turning.
When it was time for us to part ways, we quickly traded contact info so they could let us know if he took a turn down the pumpkin path and how it went.

A couple weeks ago, Matthew received an email from she (right), Tracie, saying that Tom made a pretty good pumpkin ale because of us and they wanted to send us some samples.
The shipment came in while we were in the Keys.
We haven't tried the 3 flavors they sent us yet & probably won't be able to until next week but will post the taste test.
AIRPORT PALS, FTW!

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*Thank you, Willie for the pic tweak.

WTH Weds - Miss Me?

Did you turds notice I was out for the past 6 days?
No?
Good...that means you're out livin' and not completely addicted to the computer.
But if you did...thanks.  That's sweet.  I would give you a hug if I could.

We were out celebrating Matthew's 40th birthday down in Key West for a "6 day weekend" as Matthew was calling it.
I still have a ton of photos and crap to go through and will post something soon.

Also, today has been a day filled with the constant tapping of the "delete" button at the ol'dayjob.
And its comforting to know no one ever actually reads an out of office message.

More later....
I'm feeling like there's a cold coming on and that can not happen because this weekend we're headed up in the opposite direction for the Packers/Bucs game at Lambeau.
SICKNESS IS NOT AN OPTION & I WILL NOT GET DOWN WITH IT



ps.  see, BBI??...stuff happens in November. ;)

WTH Weds - The Belly Cast

This is my friend, Martha, when she was preggers with her 2nd boy.

And this is her boobs/belly cast that she gave me to make pretty.

Grady (the boy that was in there) was born at the end of Aug.
Which means I've had this thing for like 3 months almost and have only sanded and primed it.
Every time I look at it, all I can see is a frog face.
And nipples.
Martha said, "no pressure" when she dropped it off, but I'm feelin' a little bit o'.
We'll see how it goes....

YouTubesday - LaurenOC12

She's got one of those haunting voices.

MM - Paranormal Activity 3

By a show of hands, how many of you have seen the first two flicks?
Stop it, turds....I can't see your hands.

So in the first one, we find out Katie's got a demon.
In the second one, we find out that Katie's demon is terrorizing Katie's sister because it wants her first born son.
And in this 3rd one, we find out when Katie's demon first swept her off her feet when she & her sister were kids.  And it has a name.

But I won't spoil it for you.

I don't know about all that crap about how "the last 15 mins will scar you for life" that they've been showing on the commercials, but it was filled with some cheap scares and a few really cool scares.
It made me jump twice & one scene was so good that it gives me chills to think about.
Definitely made me walk out wondering how they did it and I'll admit it: when I went to bed that night, I woke up a couple of times expecting to see a creepy girl child standing there and staring at me.

I give it 3 out of 5 oscillating fan stands.

Sunday Confession - Dollhouse of Horrors

When I was a kid, my grandfather made this dollhouse for me. (ignore that 2009 project list.  I have.)

Over the past couple years, I've been slowly acquiring pieces parts and other accessories for the Dollhouse of Horrors.
Other folks are helping & contributing, as well.  My cousin, Deb, sent me some vampire miniatures and my friend, Willie, gave me a book for making my own stuff.
This weekend, I got myself somewhat organized and have a plan mapped out for what I want to do in each room.
Here's what the main portion of the house interior looks like.

There are another 3 rooms just under the roof, on top of these 2 floors.
One of those 3 rooms (the one with no windows) will be a vampire room.
This weekend, I took one of these:

And made it look like this:

So that's where we are currently.
Woopiefreakin'doo, right?
When I really get things going....I'll do more regular updates and shit.

Suckit Saturday - May Update

When we last saw May - she looked like this:

Now she's done and she looks like this:

Here are all the May links to see how she evolved:
First.
Then.
And Then.

Effin' Friday - New Orleans

Went to New Orleans a couple weeks ago.
It was supposed to be for a work thing but they cancelled it once we got there so we were forced an impromptu 3 day weekend that the company partially paid for.  SCORE.

Here are a few highlights:

Y U No Post?!

Because I've been friggin' busy.

I'll get caught up soon, don't you worry your pretty little faces about that.

I've also been creatively paralyzed because there are too many ideas, no organization, and I have an attention deficit.
My mind is cluttered & needs to be cleared out.

I hope to have the following for you over the weekend:
New Orleans highlights
"May" update.
The rest of that stupid horror movie list you don't care about.
Big Phat Elephant Project confession.
Maybe a Paranormal Activity 3 review thrown in.
And maybe a sprinkling of Halloween photos.

So there.

Also, I did watch AHS last night and still love it.
And Bobby only cried once towards the end.
I contemplated doing a thought stream but couldn't be bothered to sit up straight to watch it.
I know atleast one of you isn't caught up, so I won't go into details/theories just yet.
Halloween Parts 1 & 2 were pretty damn cool & may need to be watched again.

YouTubesday - swanoffinland

You love him.

Suckit - American Horror Story

OK....seriously....here's what I gotta say/think about episode 3:
[begin stream]

Tara's mom (from TrueBlood) is a pretty damn good actress.
Bobby keeps waking up outside.  Uh oh.

When he cries...you gotta drink.

Daughter is a punk. (of course)

Viv reminds me of my mother's boss, Gloria.

I think everyone's dead except Viv.
Viv is the one on drugs and was walkin' around with the knife at the very beginning.
Since she's crazy, she sees everyone as ghosts. (that's my theory, turds)

And all the ghost men see Moira the Maid as a hot young POA.

And Hayden's dead too...that's why Bobby still sees her and the whole "eating for two"....
She died while "having the procedure done" or did she really come back to see him without getting it done?
and now Burnface has taken care of that for Bobby.  So its moot.

And now Moira is stuck here forever under the gazebo that Bobby built.

Man....this show is difficult.
And I love it.

And why do we know whatsherface has been shot in the head?
We haven't seen how she died....we only know that she did.

*sigh*

[end stream]

Favorite Horror Movie Theme Songs

In no particular order.  I'll be throwing these on a Halloween mix I've been compiling all month long.
Enjoy!

1. Amityville Horror.
2. The Thing.
3. The Exorcist.
4. The Shining.
5. Poltergeist.
6. Candyman.
7. Rosemary's Baby.
8. Cape Fear.
9. Halloween.
10. The Haunting.
11. House On Haunted Hill.
12. Nightmare On Elm Street.
13. Dracula.  (duh)

YouTubesday - HouseholdHacker

YAY!!

MM - American Horror Story 2

Finally was able to watch AHS Episode 2.  Ready?
[begin stream]

YAY a Laugh-in clip!!  I love that show.
Don't answer your door.  You know you'll die.
Was that Hitchcock music?
Awww nurse got hog-tied & stabbed in the back.
Is Bobby gonna cry in this episode?  ooooo I hope so.
Tate's a badass.  (I'm gonna try harder to remember names)*.
And wifey's preggers with a rubberbaby.

YAY THE CREDITS!!
They're my favorite part.

Scratchface is in disguise & has white hairs.
I wonder if they'll play Mirah for all the daughter scenes.
James Wong is one of the producers.  I hadn't noticed that before.
I love that the neighbors are always finding their way into the house.
Glad our neighbors aren't like that.
Close.
But not that bad.

I like the elevator chick.  She's groovy.
Bianca the half girl.
Bobby's tryin' to get rid of Tate.
I love the ipecac cupcakes.

BOBBY'S CRYIN' AGAIN!!!  w00t!!!
Cuz he's lyin' about goin' outta town.  What a weenie.

Wait...did she say "Aunt Viv"??  Bobby's knocked up his niece?!
I'm confused.


Constance rules.

OOOOOOooooooh...groovy Bianca is a ghosthunter freak with friends.
Uh oh - shit's crazy when Tate's the one saving you.
HAHA...she's eating the ipecac cupcake.
Constance, you old cougar, you.
Addy's a cockblocker & has a bad girl room of mirrors.
That's not nice.

Bianca's about to lose half of herself.

Yay...ghosts takin' care of their peoples.
"I'll get the shovel.  You get the bleach." is such a great line.
Psssshhh...selling the house.  Riiiiiiight.

[end stream]
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*Except Bobby's.  He will always be Bobby.

Sunday Confession - Junk & Stuff

Remember these guys?
They used to look like this:

A week ago, the one on the right looked like this:

Now, they look like this.  The one on the left being not as impressive.  Once again, nature proves that the big ones aren't always the ones to impress us.  Its ok to root for the little guy.  haha....root....get it?

I think once the leaves show up, you're supposed to plant it in a pot or in the ground or something.  I should do that this week, maybe.

Here are some Halloween decorations we have up.

This is what Jason looks like from inside our upstairs hallway during the day:

And this is what he looks like at night from the outside looking up from the sidewalk:

And here's what our sunset looked like on Saturday night: