An Explanation -or- You Probably Think This Post Is About You

FOREWARD: If you want the full experience you have to click links and listen to music and pay attention to lyrics and read and shit like that.

If you don't wanna do any of that...byeeeeeeeeeeeee

If you do, HI!. Welcome to me.
******************************************

Intro theme song for this:

One of my facebook posts from last weekend:

I have so many things to say and it hurts to not really be able to

The replies and comments:

• Are you ok? *
• Here, try this [insert self-care advice and/or creative outlets]
• Start blogging again!
• We're here for you.
• Call me if you need to talk.

....and then the family gossip that my mom told me about. 

Because they check in with her instead of talking with me about it directly, but that’s another story for another time. **

Let’s be real - do you think that I’m the type of person to put out a call for serious help on fucking facebook? I know how to use a goddamn phone AND how to reach you in case of any sort of real emergency.

I’ve vented there, yes.

I’ve looked for attention there, yes. 
Isn't that what it's there for? The giving and receiving of attention.

I’ve somewhat opened up about certain feels there once or twice, sure. Who hasn't? There are a lot of us going through the same stuff and when we find each other relatable in low times it really is so comforting.

We’re all a bit hypersensitive and moody AF in these years, and I do appreciate you reaching out, those of you who did. You are the wind beneath my wings.

But SO MANY times, I’ve bottled up super hilarious quips and insanely ridiculous comments, too. Usually because having to explain it sucks the funny out and by then they’ve probably missed their moments, or it would take 20mins to explain and would only make sense to me anyway.

It’s called a filter. Some of you have them, too.

Others don’t…you cheeky bastards.

Let me put it to you another way.

I read this article years ago about popcorn brain. Google it.

Go ahead – I’ll give you a minute…don't be lazy. Just do it.

So, after the last 20+years living the majority of my life online, when I’m in conversations with people out in the “meat world”, and especially after a few drinks, and with you all on my phone and so accessible due to the loveliest of all inventions: Social Media…I tend to pop off at the mouth occasionally when I can’t contain ALL the bottlenecked thoughts that are rattling around the old noggin.

When I popped off last Saturday, I was in a fiiiiiiiine place which was almost entirely full of face hurting laughter and running into interesting characters. I have witnesses.

I’ll end this with 3 things:

•        Because my ramblings tend to take more than anyone really wants to read on facebook***
•        Because some of you have been poking me about this for a while 
•        Because I know it’ll help me to have this outlet which, who fuckin’ knows, might also help some of you.

I’m rebooting/reigniting my blog.

*dammit, I really wish my name were Annie now

**except you Deb. Thank you. Was nice chatting with you. and I don't blame them, cuz Janet kinda really fuckin' rules.

***it makes for good toilet reading in the morning

Outro theme song for this:


-->

The Argument Against The Washington Racial Slurs Football Team

We've been discussing this with people recently....and I have more information to share but figure that this was one of those things that I wanted to share with everyone...not just those few individuals.  It's a pretty hot topic after that one episode of the Daily Show and with some of the ads you may or may not have seen.





And some of you know that I'm in a Native American Humanities class where we've been discussing and reading about this over the past few months.  Matthew posted something on the book of face at the beginning of the football season that got a bit of back and forth commenting, but I feel like it needs a little more attention.

red·skin  n.
usually offensive.
-American Indian
-the word 'redskin' is offensive and should be avoided

From wikipedia: In a 2014 interview after the Trademark decision, Amanda Blackhorse the lead petitioner expressed her opinion: "The name itself actually dates back [to] the time when the Native American population was being exterminated, and bounty hunters were hired to kill Native American people... So, in order to show that they made their kill, they had to bring back a scalp or their skin."

From "Just Good Sports" by Suzan Shown Harjo: "The most derogatory name for Native Peoples in the English language is 'redskins'. The term has its origins in the late 1600s, when Europeans introduced commercial bounty-hunting in North America. they first paid fur trappers and other mercenaries for the heads and whole bodies of Native men, women, and children. When that practice proved too cumbersome, bounty-payers accepted the bloody red skins and scalps as proof of 'Indian kill'. From that time and into the 1900s, 'redskins' was the term that was used in newspapers and books when writers wanted to convey the worst impression of Native Peoples. In Hollywood westerns, the term was usually preceded by such adjectives as 'dirty', 'lazy', 'no good' and 'theiving'. The term is despised by most Native Peoples and is seldom used in polite society now, except as a 'Native' sports reference."

So there's all of that.
And with that, I understand that some people are slanting the conversation by thinking that the term is somehow "honoring" the Native American culture.
But please....explain to me how it's supposed to be an honor to remind someone of that term's origin?

There are these defenses:
    "But there are the Celtics and the Vikings....and they aren't all pissed off about logos...."
When was the last time you saw a Celtic or a Viking?

And aren't Irish people kinda done with being likened to leprechauns?
If they aren't, you know why that is?
Because they were white dudes coming up with ideas for a team name and logo.  It was self-appointed.
Because teams like "the fighting Irish" don't mind having a little angry drunk leprechaun as their logo.
And because teams like the "Patriots" don't mind having a brooding white dude as their logo.

"But what about the Buccaneers or the pirates on the Raiders logo?"  Stop.
Those are occupations.
That don't exist anymore.

"The Seminoles signed off on using 'Chief' Osceola as a mascot."
1. The Seminoles have a lot of casino money pumping into the state of Florida.
2. When they signed off on it, they were able to keep more of their casino money instead of getting into a lawsuit.
3. Osceola was never a chief and the "mascot" is a white dude in red face.

Not any less offensive. Just sold.

If you're a team that's completely making up a Native American character or changing who an actual person was in history...how is that honoring anything?

And what the fuck is this about?

Do you think there would ever be a team that would even consider making a banner that said, "Hey Jews, you stink! Head for the showers!!" or "Let's hang those Negroes high!"
Ugh...that's just awful.  Seriously, even just typing that out, I hurt my own feelings and all I can visualize in my head is a bunch of twat cheerleaders standing around all Mean Girls style coming up with that horrible shite above.
I graduated from Apopka and the worst of our banners was just "Pioneers can suck a fatty!!"
I still don't really know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.  Exactly what kind of "fatty" are we talking about here?

"But Dan Snyder started Original Americans Foundation and is giving back to certain tribal communities."....
1. OAF is a dumb name.
     oaf.  n.
          -a clumsy, stupid person; a lout.
-AND-
2. Good.  He should be.

Do I think the Washington football team should change their name?
It's probably not a bad idea and is likely to happen in the near future, but ultimately, I don't care too much because I'm not a fan, I don't buy their merchandise, and am falling out of love (if there ever was any) with the NFL as a whole anyway.
Plus, they suck.

GO BUCS!!

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Sunday, November 16, 1:00 PM

FedEx Field, Landover, Maryland

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-8)

27 - 7

Final

Washington Redskins (3-7)

This Morning (in highlights) Before 10am

I roll over in bed with Snoop at my side and lazily open my eyes.
Matthew comes out of the bathroom and says, "you look pretty in that light."
I say, "you should take a picture so you can remember it for the rest of your life."
He leans over to kiss me and says, "I've taken a mental note."

I say, "Let's go swimming!!"
Then I say, "Let's have pancakes!!"
He says, "There's a lot goin' on there..."
I say, "Always."

I put my swimsuit on and pick up the painted horse head mask.
I go downstairs & put the horse head mask on and stand outside the bathroom door.
Matthew comes out and sees me standing there and does not appear alarmed in any way.
Scare failure.

I dance in the kitchen & we talk about Epcot.
He tells me to keep dancing.
I stop and tell him he can't tell me what to do.
He starts dancing in the kitchen.
Dance monkey win.

I show him that if I place my hands on either side of the bottom half of my racerback swimsuit & push down, it's an easy moon.
He makes a noise of agreement and upon seeing the following wedgie I give myself, says that I look like an olympian.
I give myself a wedgie again and look in the mirror.

I say, "I'm in a weird silly mood..." and start thinkin' about a movie I saw yesterday.
The Last Word.
Ray Romano's in it and one of his character's stress therapy/issue management outlets is to hang out in the park and wait for a mother & child.  He walks up behind them and makes a scary face at the baby, without the mother knowing, so that the baby starts crying.
I tell Matt about the flick and describe this whole scene.
I tell him that the reason I'm telling him all of this is because I'm thinkin' about scaring babies at Epcot today.
He's very supportive.

He comes upstairs to tell me he's leaving for the gym.
I give him departure kisses and start fidgeting with my swimsuit again.
I pick up my boobs because they're being smashed flat in the sporty suit.
I start moving them around underneath the suit fabric and say, "It's a puppet show" and laugh at myself.
He laughs and says, "You're so weird." and goes downstairs.

F-Bomb Highlights and The Week Ahead (now behind)

Its fuzzy Monday.*
Pretty sure my noggin is still not firing on all cylinders yet.  Although, I doubt it ever really is.
Saturday started at about 7 or 8 a.m. with a mad rush of chores.  Matthew put quite a list together for the day and we ran around knockin' each task off the list until there was only booze and food errands left.
At about 4, some folks started to show up and we got our costumes on and started actin' like fools.

This was the first year there was no keg.  Was kinda sad but we made doo (haha) with lots of cheap garbage beers....which makes for very full recycling bins and trash cans.
---------- (stuff went on later Monday and then I crashed early.  Tuesday was full of running around, so now I'm writing this on Wednesday.  keep up.) ------------

11 XL pizza boxes are still a tower out front because recycle day isn't til Friday.  We probably could've built a clubhouse had they not been rained on.  We also still have a big cooler full of aforementioned garbage beers and neither of us wants to drink them.
I found a pair of men's Hanes boxer briefs on the bathroom floor if anyone wants to claim those (if not, I'll keep them as a souvenir like last year's tiny spidermanties).

Anyway, enough about all the garbage, let's get back to the thing...
So, we did shit, and then Michelle did my hairs so I could be a Fighter.

Matthew threw on his Flash costume and we went outside to go start playing and hangin' with a handful of folks and getting the pizza situated and crap and stuff.

Among the costumes were:
Pats from Absolutely Fabulous.
Red Fraggle from Fraggle Rock
Flava Flav
a Freeloader
a Flasher
Frieda Kahlo
a Fallen Angel
a few Fairies
a Frankentigger
Flashdance
Nick Fury
2 Frenchmen
2 sets of Flinstones
a Foreign Tourist
a Flamingo
a Fluffer
a Function
Fanta!
a Fisherman
Flo from Mel's Diner
a Fuckin' Pregnant lady
and a Fuckin' Surprise (thanks, Tom and Martha!!)

I'm sure I'm Forgetting some.
The costumes were great - the slide and bouncehouse were awesome, as always....and the pool was.....
fucking warm.
Later in the night there were Fire dancers and synchronized swimming along with grandiose toasts and drunk jenga.
There's some great footage I'll be piecing together this weekend and hope to have it done over the next few days.
-------------(now its Saturday and I need to recap the week)------------
Monday, we had dance class and the big boss gave us some feedback and pointers.  I feel we'll be better next Tuesday when we go in.  His pointers were simple but made a huge difference.  We've discovered that 6:30 pm is NOT our time slot.  We much prefer the 8:45.  Hustle is our shit, which is an easy transition into Swing (which is the whole reason I signed us up).  Waltz we kinda choked on since it had been a couple weeks.
Tuesday, was some family stuff I won't talk about here.
Wednesday, I got my hairs did and then we went to see Static-X at the Beacham.  They were awesome and I got to push boys into the pit.  Andrew was pitblockin' me.  He's very protective.  I bought him a shirt and some shots cuz he took good care of me.  Planet Pizza afterwards was heavenly.
Thursday, was Thursday.
Friday, we went to a birthday shindig for a musician friend and chatted up some new folks, drank a bunch of rum, and watched some beer pong but gave the Stephenson Slip before the cake was cut.

This morning, I awoke to the smell of Matthew cooking organic bacon.
Bliss.



------------------------------
*Obviously, it isn't Monday anymore.

2012 KM Photo Project #4

Yes, we know we're two months behind.  Shit happens.
The month of April was "Bad 90's Glamour Shots", so here we are in all our soft filtered glory.

Clearly, Martha's done this before.

I love the chin hands and head tilts.

Mine aren't nearly as good.  My lighting was all wrong & forgot to use a flash, but whatever.
Here we go.

The last one was just for fun.  I've never done Glamour Shots before and its been YEARS since I've done any weird portrait studio poses.  Totally forgot about the chinhands and crap.  All I could remember was the collar holds.

What Martha learned: "I learned that I need to keep more stupid hats and gaudy jewelry on hand.  And boas.  And I need to use Tom more for these projects; he's hilarious and oh so helpful behind the camera-phone.  Also I learned that hair-spraying a bang wave is the delorean time machine to my middle school years."

What I learned:  Doing 'big hair' is difficult when you have fine hair.  I've haven't used that much hairspray since back then.  Should've used the flash and had bigger jewelry on.  Also practicing poses beforehand might've helped.  Pay no attention to my nails in the first one.
Oh, great...now you'll go back and look.  I really had no clue how to do "90s makeup", so it just ended up being weird shades of what I normally wear thrown together and overdone.

GAWH!, I WISH I COULD DO BIG HAIR LIKE HER'S!!

Suckit Saturday - May Update

When we last saw May - she looked like this:

Now she's done and she looks like this:

Here are all the May links to see how she evolved:
First.
Then.
And Then.

Suckit - American Horror Story

OK....seriously....here's what I gotta say/think about episode 3:
[begin stream]

Tara's mom (from TrueBlood) is a pretty damn good actress.
Bobby keeps waking up outside.  Uh oh.

When he cries...you gotta drink.

Daughter is a punk. (of course)

Viv reminds me of my mother's boss, Gloria.

I think everyone's dead except Viv.
Viv is the one on drugs and was walkin' around with the knife at the very beginning.
Since she's crazy, she sees everyone as ghosts. (that's my theory, turds)

And all the ghost men see Moira the Maid as a hot young POA.

And Hayden's dead too...that's why Bobby still sees her and the whole "eating for two"....
She died while "having the procedure done" or did she really come back to see him without getting it done?
and now Burnface has taken care of that for Bobby.  So its moot.

And now Moira is stuck here forever under the gazebo that Bobby built.

Man....this show is difficult.
And I love it.

And why do we know whatsherface has been shot in the head?
We haven't seen how she died....we only know that she did.

*sigh*

[end stream]

Working On Something

Here's all my inspiration:

And here's this afternoon's progress:

I'm kinda diggin' it so far.
If you've never seen "May", its definitely worth a watch and will make more sense of what you're looking at.
Can you tell I'm slightly scared about her face?
Will probably be watching the movie a lot this weekend for more inspiration.

Suckit Saturday - An American Wedding

Remember these fine folks?
Turns out they're gettin' hitched this afternoon!!
And look at how fuckin' cute their invites are!

LOVE it!

Remember last year, when I made a couple of garters for my lovely friends who were gettin' hitched then?

Well, had to dust off the old sewing machine and crap and threw this one together & felt like it needed matching earrings to go with it.

Yes, there are bananas on it.

Man, I'm gettin' good at these things.

Maybe someday I'll make a whole bunch and sell them (that was the idea a year ago).

-ANYWAY-

Cheers to the happy ass couple!!

Now maybe you guys can do some planking!  :)

Suckit Saturday - Boston Highlights Pt. 2

Saturday marnin' we slept in cuz those damn Marriott beds are so friggin' comfy.
Then headed to the Pour House for breakfast beers.

I ate a cheesesteak omelette with sweet potato tots and dark rye toast.
Beer was Pumpkin UFO and pretty damn tasty.  Highlighted more of the spice part of pumpkin spice.
Was quite tasty.
We left a sticker here too.

Afterwards, we wandered over to Newbury Comics.
On the way over, we saw a guy on the street playing a hurdy gurdy.  His dog was chillin' with him.  We gave him a buck.
Sitting next to him was an older guy just sitting there with a paper bag on his head and his change cup out.
Look, if you want me to give you a dollar, you better be doin' some cool shit to earn it.  I'm not going to give it to you just for looking pitiful and needy.
If a dude is playin' some wicked badass instrument, or is telling funny jokes, or is busting some sweetass moves.....he'll get my dollar.
If you're just sitting in a chair (regardless of if it has wheels or not) & you just expect me to throw something in your cup because you have a paperbag hat.....
Sorry, man.

Once we got to Newbury Comics, I tried on stupid glasses:

Matthew bought some accessories (hat & glasses) to help him blend in with the locals.

I bought a bowler and nerd glasses.

Then we wandered over to Fenway to see if the sticker we put there the night before had lasted 24hrs.

Which was quickly followed by a trip to Lansdowne to drown our sorrows with some brews and pub chips with this badass blue cheese sauce/dip stuff.  It was pretty fuckin' good.
Bova met us down there & we headed over to The Bodega.
The front room looks like a shitty bodega with interesting knick-knacks, drinks, & snacks available for late night drunken purchases.  But then you step on a tile in front of that drink machine and a door opens into this pretty ass showroom for designer sneakers, watches, and a selection of outerwear.
After poking around in there, we wandered into a nearby halloween store where we tried on masks, I fondled a giant glittery stuffed penis, & Bova was asked if he was a member of the aryan race because of the t-shirt he was wearing.

We left and headed towards Solas for clubs, cubans, beers, & people watching.

Wrapped up there and stopped into a cigar bar for some dranks and smokes.  Had some nice chats and our waitress showed us her shoes that she bought at Marshalls.
We hung out there for a bit and then wandered back down to McGreevy's for a beer before calling it a night, said our goodbyes, and going back to the hotel room.

When we got back to the hotel room, the Michigan/Notre Dame game was still on and was still close enough to be pretty damn exciting, so we decided to grab a night cap (shot of jager) down at the sports bar before really calling it a night.

The next marnin', we enjoyed a breakfast buffet where Matthew caught a ciabatta roll on fire, we spied on a guy who looked like a mightymightybosstone, and remembered that it was September 11th.
At the airport, we grabbed a spot at the skyclub for an hour or so, left the skyclub, grabbed a beer & a lobster roll at the Harpoon joint by the gate, boarded the plane......

Sat on the plane for an hour without it moving.

Got off the plane and went back to the Harpoon joint to grab another brew and got to chatting with some nice folks from Michigan who were also delayed.  We talked about beer and rugby.
Then it was finally time to get back on the plane and were able to leave without any more delays.

The End.

Suckit Saturday - The Deck

Just realized that I forgot to post "after" pics when the deck was finished.
Here's what it looks like now:

Suckit Saturday - Doodle

Pannacake's artstudio doodle:

Suckit Saturday - Terribly Odd

This is our friend.
His website is here.

He's a damn fine fellow and is doing a show at this joint so we'll be hangin' out around Disney this weekend.
Maybe Matthew will take me to DisneyQuest.

Here's an Odd commission Matthew had done for us for my birthday a couple years ago.  Based on a photo we took in Costa Rica.

This is what I looked like when he gave it to me:

Suckit Saturday - Dear Delta,

(Sent this to them yesterday - let's see what happens!!)

Today my husband tried to get a SkyClub membership and accidentally signed up under my SkyMiles account instead of his own.

He immediately called Delta to rectify his mistake.

After 2 hrs on the phone, numerous transfers & 1 "disconnection", someone was finally able to provide a fax number.

That's it? Really? I freakin' FAX #?

How does a $500 service have NO way of communication except a fax?

Sure is nice that they'll take his money, though. That's reputable.

So now we're stuck.

Him with no SkyClub service for work flights.

Me with access to something I won't use.

This is horrible customer service.

Highly disappointing.

We were fans of Delta before this experience.

I challenge you to turn this around & make it right.

How great would that be? For everyone involved!!

This is your time to shine! You can do it!

C'mon...all it would take is a few measly keystrokes, problem solved, everyone gets what they want and we all rejoice and laugh about it when we're telling our grandchildren the story.

I mean, its not like we're talking about access to some top secret uberconfidential highly secured reinforced room full of nukes.

We're talkin' access to a lounge......in an airport.

We hope you can find it in your hearts to do the right thing.

Thank you for your attention.

Karen

Saturday Doodles

These are from the ArtStudio (ipad) tutorials (thanks, pannacakes).

Between these and trying to get this done....my weekend is delightfully full.

Summer Bomb Highlights (that I can remember)

Breakfast of champions.
Early arrivals.
Balloons for the bounce house.
Worried about the costumes going on easily due to being sticky from no a/c.
A/C repair guy: "you're fucked. 3-7 biz days"
Testing the slide for quality assurance.
Testing the keg for quality assurance.
Getting dressed.
Taking pictures & LMAO with IronFist & Weezy Cage (aka Power[wo]Man)
Not being able to see through my mask.
Poison Ivy's eyebrows.
Ash's chainsaw.
Venom adjusting his cup.
Pool shots of washington apple dripping into my ear.
Orgasmic carrotcake balls.
Cool clouds/sky & threat of rain.
Butt spanks.
Jesus smoking & drinking.
Batmanties.
Spidermanties.
Losing beer pong.
Wonder Woman in boottops & flipflops.
Black Widow.
Floating keg.
Catwoman doing the splits.
Spiderman with no batteries.
Toe shots of tequila.
Snoop chillin' at the pool with us.
Gag reflexes being tested by Bomb Pops.
Crotch grabs & cleavage pictures.
Cake shots in the kitchen while Catwoman was still doing splits.
Catwoman unmasking while doing the splits.
Finding Jesus behind the couch.
Cousin phone call.
Waking up in the bouncehouse at 3:30a.m. with the sprinklers on.
Waking Matt up to bring the inflatables' fans in.
Black Widow passed out on the couch infront of a fan.
Watermelon stabbed through with the big knife.
Changing into pjs & passing out in bed with 3 fans on.
--------------------------------
Somewhere in there that I don't remember, was a laughter filled romp in the bounce house with Black Widow, a chat with Dr. Manhattan, and a demand for SAMMICHES!!
--------------------------------
Morning After Finds:
1. 1 Jesus costume with hair and beard.
2. 1 flip flop
3. 1 pair of roxy flip flops.
4. 1 Batman shirt
5. 1 blackfist afro pick
6. 1 olive green & white striped towel
7. 1 set of platinum/diamond wedding bands
8. 1 Michael Kors watch
9. 1 red headband
10. 8 cigarette butts (in my flower pots)
11. 1 Green Lantern ring
12. 1 pair of fuzzy Catwoman gloves.
13. 2 Poison Ivy vines
14. 1 half drunk bottle of red zin.
15. 1 half drunk bottle of margarita mix.
16. a skinny boy's swim trunks
17. Aforementioned Spidermanties draped around the Rockband drumset
18. 1 pile of mayo in the grass
19. 1 7/11 lighter
20. 2 Dr. Shots syringes & one sippy bottle with 1/5 remaining washington apple.
21. 1 defiled bag of Doritos
22. 1 pool key missing it's key ring.
23. 1 busted industrial toilet seat used for redneck horseshoes