Mexico - 8.20.2010 (continued)

Previously on Brainure:

***Last time we saw our heroes, they were downing tequila concoctions at the Jose Cuervo distillery when the wedding party had to leave to get to the rehearsal.***

-The lovely bride & groom.-

-Matthew & oak aged cognac(I think?) that singed your nose hairs when you stuck your nose in the snifter.-

-Us and the groom.-

The following will be told in two parts:

Part 1 - Karen's Story.
So, the wedding party rolled out in a herded catlike manner.
At one point, Jacquie's mom said that it would be very hard to leave us.
I think it took about 20 mins for them to clear out and get to the bus.
The rest of us stayed at Cuervo's for a bit to drink & munch on guac.
After a bit, one of the tour guides, Gustavo, showed up on a break & we talked him into hangin' out with us and taking us to a good taco joint.
Tracy wanted to stop at Sauza first but when we walked over to the distillery, it was already closed for siesta.
Everything closes up and gets quiet from about 4 or 5pm until about 8pm.*
We walked back to the square & the taco place Gustavo suggested was a few blocks away so he left to see about getting a ride for the 6 of us.
While we waited, I told Sammy, "I hope we get a ride in the barrel!!"
Which looked like this and played loud mariachi music on a loud speaker:
Gustavo came back a few minutes later and said, "We ride in the barrel...".
Hell. Yeah.
Once we hopped in, we found it was equipped with a fitness pole.
The driver asked if we wanted music.
Duh.
So we were loud obnoxious gringos through the streets of Tequila lookin' for tacos in a friggin' mariachi stripper tequila barrel.
I swear I heard some boys with a fake soccer ball shout "callete!" at us as we passed.
We got to the taco place and it was still closed for another 30mins or so.*
Back to the square we went and Gustavo took us into this swanky lookin' bar/night club that had about 4 people in it, no windows, & an aquarium as you walk in.
We didn't wanna be Those people.....y'know the types that go to a nightclub when there's still daylight.
We just wanted a bar, really. Dark wood, maybe a couple gruff lookin' shady characters, and a wall full of pretty tequila bottles.
Instead, we stopped into a small tequila spot where an old fella sold us some home made coffee & almond flavored tequila. He kept giving us samples of each flavor but the coffee & almond ones were the best. Gustavo just kept grabbing samples when the old fella left to go fill our unlabled jugs with home brew. Another fella with one leg riding a burro stopped by to say hi to the old fella who was filling our jugs. I missed seeing him (only saw the ass part of the ass as he went by) & no one got pictures, so feel free to find this unbelievable.
The old fella called us girls, "bonitas", so of course we bought about 4 jugs - equaling about $6 usd.
We thought it was funny that his stock on the shelves, all the bottles and such, were all dusty and unmoved.
But his homebrew was awesome.
He told us he worked at Cuervo for 20yrs until he retired and I guess took some tricks of the trade with him.....to his back room.
Afterwards, we stopped into Cholula restaurant where I bought something the english menu called "patiently cooked with pork" that I thought would be just meat but turned out to be a soup.
Nowhere did it say soup.
Or even sopa.
But it was good.
While we were sitting there, a few others from our group trickled in and then it was time to pile back in the bus to make the journey back to the Hacienda.
I cracked open the jug'o'coffee tequila and passed it around on the bus, ready to go!! W00t!!
After about 1.5hrs on shitty roads listening to some lame ass disco music.....
We were all beat to hell and not as fired up when we reached the Hacienda.
*yawn*
We all showered and changed and a few of us wandered around (me with tequila jug in hand) and picked a cool corner on the patio to chill while the wedding party was in their rehearsal dinner.
When they got done with dinner, I decided Jacquie should have her garter that I made her since she'd dubbed me "Godmother of the Garter".
It looked like this:
In mexican wedding tradition, everyone participating in the wedding gets a specific role to be the godparent of.
She was happy with it and stuff and then Matt & I went back to swig on the tequila jug & hang with friends and listen to each other's stories from the day before calling it a night and headin' back to our nun beds.

Part 2. Matt's Story (as remembered from Matt's telling of events).
For some reason the ride to the church for the rehearsal, that was only supposed to take about 45mins, took about 2hrs and by the time they got there, a mass was starting, so they started doing a halfassed rehearsal outside until after mass was over.
From what I've heard, the rehearsal part went a little better but then the bus left Matt, Sean (the groom), Adan & Junior (the father & brother of the bride), and Clint behind....none of them really knowing why. (2)
They decided to find a bar close by and with 2 mexicans & 3 people able to speak spanish fluently, Matt said he felt pretty safe when they started walking through town.
Until....
Up the street they saw a pimped out white SUV crossing an intersection.....very slowly.
Junior in his awesome junior voice says, "That's probably the neighborhood drug lord."
They came up to another intersection and the same white SUV crossed their path and had a window down checking out the guys, again, driving very slow, then barking the tires and peeling off.
Junior then says to his dad, "we gotta go!" in spanish.
And they pick up their pace to find a taxi to get them back to the hacienda/rehearsal dinner.
Matt said Sean looked at him and said, "...This is cool, isn't it?"
And Matt just looked at him straight faced, and said, "...No." (3)
The taxis in mexico are small & I think someone back at the hacienda remembered them right around the time they'd found a taxi so they all made it back in one piece and got to the rehearsal dinner.
********************
*A couple of times throughout the trip, Mario, the other tour guide, would say "lazy mexicans".
(2) It was because the boys were playing soccer with some local kids outside the church.
(3) They laugh about it now and since we got back we've seen and have been sent a TON of articles about how crazy the drug cartels are getting in Mexico City. The town we were in is WAY west of Mexico City....get out a map.