An Explanation -or- You Probably Think This Post Is About You

FOREWARD: If you want the full experience you have to click links and listen to music and pay attention to lyrics and read and shit like that.

If you don't wanna do any of that...byeeeeeeeeeeeee

If you do, HI!. Welcome to me.
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Intro theme song for this:

One of my facebook posts from last weekend:

I have so many things to say and it hurts to not really be able to

The replies and comments:

• Are you ok? *
• Here, try this [insert self-care advice and/or creative outlets]
• Start blogging again!
• We're here for you.
• Call me if you need to talk.

....and then the family gossip that my mom told me about. 

Because they check in with her instead of talking with me about it directly, but that’s another story for another time. **

Let’s be real - do you think that I’m the type of person to put out a call for serious help on fucking facebook? I know how to use a goddamn phone AND how to reach you in case of any sort of real emergency.

I’ve vented there, yes.

I’ve looked for attention there, yes. 
Isn't that what it's there for? The giving and receiving of attention.

I’ve somewhat opened up about certain feels there once or twice, sure. Who hasn't? There are a lot of us going through the same stuff and when we find each other relatable in low times it really is so comforting.

We’re all a bit hypersensitive and moody AF in these years, and I do appreciate you reaching out, those of you who did. You are the wind beneath my wings.

But SO MANY times, I’ve bottled up super hilarious quips and insanely ridiculous comments, too. Usually because having to explain it sucks the funny out and by then they’ve probably missed their moments, or it would take 20mins to explain and would only make sense to me anyway.

It’s called a filter. Some of you have them, too.

Others don’t…you cheeky bastards.

Let me put it to you another way.

I read this article years ago about popcorn brain. Google it.

Go ahead – I’ll give you a minute…don't be lazy. Just do it.

So, after the last 20+years living the majority of my life online, when I’m in conversations with people out in the “meat world”, and especially after a few drinks, and with you all on my phone and so accessible due to the loveliest of all inventions: Social Media…I tend to pop off at the mouth occasionally when I can’t contain ALL the bottlenecked thoughts that are rattling around the old noggin.

When I popped off last Saturday, I was in a fiiiiiiiine place which was almost entirely full of face hurting laughter and running into interesting characters. I have witnesses.

I’ll end this with 3 things:

•        Because my ramblings tend to take more than anyone really wants to read on facebook***
•        Because some of you have been poking me about this for a while 
•        Because I know it’ll help me to have this outlet which, who fuckin’ knows, might also help some of you.

I’m rebooting/reigniting my blog.

*dammit, I really wish my name were Annie now

**except you Deb. Thank you. Was nice chatting with you. and I don't blame them, cuz Janet kinda really fuckin' rules.

***it makes for good toilet reading in the morning

Outro theme song for this:


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EFFING SERIOUSLY

Who the fuck are these people showing up on the top left corner of my page??
I wish I had 3 fists to punch them in the face simultaneously for interrupting my junk.

What the fuck, Blogger.

No, really.
This is what I see:

Themeless Thursday. Blah.

You turds tired of hearing me bitch about not having a/c?
Yeah, me too.
So here's a picture of our bananas from a few years ago. I just found it on an old thumb drive.

WTH Weds - Still No Air

So I called the a/c folks yesterday morning and they said they had parts on order for us (new compressor) but it would take 3-7 business days for it to come in and they would call and schedule with us as soon as the delivery came through.
There is no ETA.

This company is USHAC.
Do not use them.
You see that bit on the website where it says "24hr Emergency Services"? Yeah, when I asked them about that last week when we were trying like hell to get someone to come help us out before the Bomb.....the chick said, "Oh yeah, we don't have that. Sorry, we're completely booked. You're scheduled for Monday."
Later on that day, we rec'd confirmation that we actually had a Saturday appt scheduled.
One of the lead techs came out Saturday, Steve, and was a very nice fellow and most helpful - stopped to point out things, explained what he did, what needed to be done next, & answered our questions without making us feel like we were keeping him from being some where else.
Everyone else at the company has done nothing but cause frustration.
I've written a bad review for them on yp.com.
It made me feel only a little better.

On the plus side, my skin has never felt better. Cold showers and sweating as much as I have the past week has really done wonders for my skins. Buffalo Bill would be proud.

Also - its nice to know so many of our friends have open doors for us.
We're choosing to tough it out in the evenings so far because it's good training for the zombie apocalypse when there will be no power. So, we'd have to be acclimated to it then anyway. This is just prepping us for that.
We've also had some nice storms roll through that have cooled things off so its been quite pleasant the past couple nights.

Effin Friday

I would be happier about Friday but being without a/c for 3 days during the hottest month of the year (& just before you're supposed to have a giant summer party)......has kinda put a damper on my mood.

Here are my observations:

1. Cold showers are nice until you grab a handful of shampoo and it feels warm.....that's fuckin' weird.

2. This is an absolutely miserable way to live. I wouldn't wish it on anyone & if I ever joined politics, this would be my platform. Surely, a/c should be considered a human right.

3. You don't really stop sweating until sometime between 5:30 and 6 a.m.

4. People still ring your doorbell even when the front door is wide open.

5. I have no idea how anyone ever "settled" or lived in this place before electricity. The real estate boom obviously happened after people figured out how to live comfortably. If it had been me back in the day, I would've been all "the Indians can effin' have it, man".

6. You know what you feel like doing when you're hot and sweaty all the time? NOTHING. Absofuckin'lutely nothing. Except maybe finding errands to run so you can jump in the car and get some relief there.

7. Sleeping is impossible. Sleeping on a towel is a little more bearable.....so you don't stick to the couch that you've moved down to cuz its too hot upstairs, even with 4 fans blowing directly on you. (see #3 & #8 & #9)

8. Everything sticks to you. Ev. er. y. thing.

9. Moist is a constant state.

10. I feel like a giant ham curing. Salty, meaty, fatty. Ham.

11. The cats have melted on the floor. I've been calling them the Jonestown kitters cuz even they don't feel like moving & every time you see them, they're laying flat on the floor - either on the tile or in the hallway where we have fans set up. Fur puddles.

Today the home warranty people told us they've escalated and are considering this an emergency. Yesterday was 97. Today is only supposed to be 96, oh goodie.....a temp drop.

Wish us luck.

Suckit Saturday - Parking Lot & other stuff

Today, I went to buy grout and some other crap to do some honey-do work around the house before the bomb next weekend and grabbed a couple flowers to fill some pots we have that currently sit infested with weeds or are just empty.

After checking out, I wheeled my happy ass back to the parking lot to load up my car.

As I was transferring my crap from the cart to my car, a dude pulled up and parked in the spot next to mine.

Once my cart was empty, I opted to wheel it over to a place convenient for the dude who just pulled up next to me, thinking he'd probably want to use it, instead of wheeling it over to the "Put Your Damn Carts Here" spot they have in the lot.

A couple in a SUV were parked in front of me and the lady was waiting for her fella to get back to the car from said "Put Your Damn Carts Here" spot. She was smiling and he was looking at me with that pursed lip, raised eyebrow, judgmental face. As if to say "shame on you, lazy good fer nuthin" and shit because I didn't put my cart in said "Put Your Damn Carts Here" spot.

So, you know what I've decided to do?

From now on, I'm gonna start confronting stupid faces like that with "You got somethin' to say??"

Just because I bet it'll feel good.

And, like Bova said, it'll make people think I'm from Boston (or that I'm ready to move there).

The things I do sometimes don't always make sense to people outside of my head, but dammit, don't give me a stupid face because I'm being courteous/thoughtful, y'asshole.

In other news, here are the flowers I bought - begonias and some other thing I thought looked badass.

Also, Matthew made me a kickass dinner. Cuban sammich roll. Pics are posted on his facebook.

Emmineffin' Monday

This was probably the most annoying Monday in the history of Mondays.

Here are the reasons why:

1. Post-kickass vacation Monday. Those ALWAYS suck.

2. Dumbass customers doing some dumbass things & of course, all of them think their issue is the end of the world and more important than everything else and everything is on fire. Just because something may or may not be an emergency for you, does not make it an emergency for me. Just sayin'. Also, if you bug me every 5 mins about said issue and/or start psycho calling me, you're only interrupting & delaying me from actually putting out this imaginary fire you've punted over to me. A GIRL HAS TO MANAGE HER TIME!!! Jeezus.

3. I got spoiled by not having my phone/laptop/etc. with me all weekend.

Unplugging is fuckin' wonderful. Normally on the weekends, I don't do much with my phone unless we're going out and meetin' up with friends. If we're at home chillin', the phone is not attached to my hip. You know why? Because I don't like being on the phone.

Between having been a teenage girl & spending a good chunk of my "corporate career" on the phone for a full 8-12 hr day.....I'm all tapped out.

LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!