Friday, August 5, 2011

Effin Friday

I would be happier about Friday but being without a/c for 3 days during the hottest month of the year (& just before you're supposed to have a giant summer party)......has kinda put a damper on my mood.
Here are my observations:

1. Cold showers are nice until you grab a handful of shampoo and it feels warm.....that's fuckin' weird.

2. This is an absolutely miserable way to live. I wouldn't wish it on anyone & if I ever joined politics, this would be my platform. Surely, a/c should be considered a human right.

3. You don't really stop sweating until sometime between 5:30 and 6 a.m.

4. People still ring your doorbell even when the front door is wide open.

5. I have no idea how anyone ever "settled" or lived in this place before electricity. The real estate boom obviously happened after people figured out how to live comfortably. If it had been me back in the day, I would've been all "the Indians can effin' have it, man".

6. You know what you feel like doing when you're hot and sweaty all the time? NOTHING. Absofuckin'lutely nothing. Except maybe finding errands to run so you can jump in the car and get some relief there.

7. Sleeping is impossible. Sleeping on a towel is a little more bearable.....so you don't stick to the couch that you've moved down to cuz its too hot upstairs, even with 4 fans blowing directly on you. (see #3 & #8 & #9)

8. Everything sticks to you. Ev. er. y. thing.

9. Moist is a constant state.

10. I feel like a giant ham curing. Salty, meaty, fatty. Ham.

11. The cats have melted on the floor. I've been calling them the Jonestown kitters cuz even they don't feel like moving & every time you see them, they're laying flat on the floor - either on the tile or in the hallway where we have fans set up. Fur puddles.

Today the home warranty people told us they've escalated and are considering this an emergency. Yesterday was 97. Today is only supposed to be 96, oh goodie.....a temp drop.

Wish us luck.
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