Tuesday, July 20, 2010

How to Make Your Own Pillory (or stockade)

1. First, its important to stay hydrated since you'll be working outside. Ask Miller Lite & Michael Jackson for assistance with this.

2. Draw out your idea. Remember to be precise & include measurements.

3. Make sure your tools are charged up so you don't have to sit around & wait when you realize that BOTH drill batteries are completely dead when you're halfway through getting a 2inch screw in. (Michael Jackson can also help here).

4. Build this piece. Which is just 2 boards with circles cut out and then fastened together with 4 other boards.
The lid to a tequila container makes for good hand holes. The lid from the cooler (that we also used for Big Asspirin) was useful in making a good sized head hole.

5. Lay out your pieces for what its gonna stand on. Make sure its at the height you want it before screwing it all together. Keep short friends in mind.

6. Nail everything together at least 6 times. Not just because you want it somewhat sturdy, but also because you love your nail gun. Take leftover cut out scrap pieces of wood that you keep stepping on and nail those up there too (where the hell else are they gonna go? - be resourceful!) Stand that shit up and admire your homemade medieval torture device.
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