Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Sleep So Good You Think You're Dead

"Man, I love sleepin'. Makes me wanna wake up just so I can go back to sleep again." --Brak, from The Brak Show.
That's how I was sleeping last night/this morning when the alarm went off at 5a.m.

You ever had just the perfect body position and pillow/comforter/sheet configuration that made you never want to leave the cocoon of happy warm bedness?

That's how it was this a.m.

And then I went to the gym and met up with Brian "Big Game", my trainer, and thought he was gonna be nice to me because he gave me an option right off the bat. "Shoulders and chest, or back and shoulders?" Back and shoulders. But then we ended up doing mostly just back and an arms thing, and bicycle crunches and then he was like, "Have you ever done 'burpees'?" WTF is a burpee? He was silent. "That means it'll probably suck...." He didn't look me in the eye at all when he said, "We're doing those next". We went over to a lat row machine and he did a demo and I was like, "Was that a burpee?" No. Of course it wasn't. I've done lat rows before. He was giving it time to let the suspense play with my head. "No, that wasn't a burpee. When you're done with this, we're super-setting with this...." and he proceeded to give me a burpee demo.
Picture this: Standing upright, bending forward to put your hands on the floor in front of you. Jumping your feet back so you're at a plank position, and then forward again so you're bent over touching the floor, then lifting your hands off the floor and jumping straight up 10 ft in the air.
OK, so it wasn't 10 ft. It was barely an inch, actually. I told him my butt was too big to get mad ups - I'm bottom-heavy. He said, "Then that's where all your power is and you should be able to jump higher."
BURPEES SUCK and no one even knows why they're called burpees. They "MAY have been originated by a man...." Brian just made me do them so we could both say 'burpees'.
When I got home after our session, I got a txt message from "Big Game" saying, "Remember that time you did burpees? You're such a badass."
And then my badass took a nap - trying to find that comfy warm happyness I felt before I faced my torturer. Except this time it was only in the form of a 10min nap on the couch and it smelled like sweat.
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