Friday, March 5, 2010

Thursday night with Henry

Pretty sure this was our 4th Henry show at House of Blues.
I love House of Blues but you can't take pictures in there - which stinks so the ones we are able to snag always look like this. Henry always looks like a tiny ball of white light.

We got there about 10 or 15 min late and he was talking about teabaggers and racist people not liking that we have a [half]black Prez.

The bar on the right of the stage had our usual spot open so we got comfy (enough to stand for almost 3 hrs).

Here are a few highlights:

1. He cracked on & impersonated how he imagined Hannity was during the 2008 election when Obama's numbers were coming in, laughing and saying, "Democracy is so gay" while pretending to take Obama votes out and moving them over to McCain votes.

2. While being sarcastic and making a point about our current state and picking out the phrase "all men are created equal" from the Declaration of Independence: "All men are created equal.....except you fags....and you poor people."

3. On Palin pumping out 5 kids: "here's another it something tragic and don't teach it anything" (he also called her speeches during the campaign, "comedy sketches")

4. He said "whole nother" at least twice. This made Matt & I giggle.

5. He's not a big fan of NFL Football saying that it includes men crying beer tears and crushing their manboobs together, either in celebration of a victory or as comfort for an ass beating.

6. He hangs out with William Shatner quite a bit and was at the Shatner home for Thanksgiving instead of his usual tradition of ripping open a bag of vegetarian pasta with his teeth, which he says is the only thing you can do with a bag of vegetarian pasta and still keep some man-cred.

7. There was this Goo-Goo Dolls haircut douchebag and his girl-friend standing next to us at the bar during the show and they wouldn't shut the fuck up. I was this [--------] <----that close to pulling out my ticket, showing it to them, and asking them who's name was on the ticket. Pretty sure I paid good money to listen to HENRY ROLLINS speak and not to some random emo-haired asshole and his girl obnoxiously laughing at the wrong parts, repeating the lines they thought were funny, and having their own conversation.
"Do you see this ticket here? It says Henry Rollins. It doesn't say Stupid Hair Heeled Boot Guy and Mom Sweater Wearing Blond!!" Matt finally just stood in front of them blocking their view and they wandered off a couple minutes later.

8. Can someone please tell me why the hell are there bathroom attendants at the House of Blues??? And why the hell do they stick a sign up on the mirror that says, "PLEASE BE KIND, I WORK ON TIPS ONLY."?? No one carries cash on them anymore and if they do, they're spending it on fucking t-shirts, posters, & books and not on the fucking PAPER TOWELS YOU'RE HANDING OUT!!! Not only was there a bathroom attendant in there panhandling, but their whole damn family was in there having dinner. There's nothing grosser than seeing someone in a bathroom eating wings. A younger girl was nice enough to move her foam container full of cheeseburger out of the way so I could wash my damn hands. I should've popped her the quarter I had in my pocket for being so kind.

9. Henry also talked about how cool it was to play a white supremacist on Sons of Anarchy (WHITE POWER!) and how distracting it was to be a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race (love that show). The latter leaving him with a hilarious spankbank experience.

10. While filming Sons - he was asked to give the commencement speech for the graduating class over at Sonoma State. He said he spent a few days on it and it ended up being about 4 pages long and he kept running it by his assistant, Heidi (who he calls The Demon), and she'd either let things slide or yell at him, "STOP!!! ITS BORING!!!" and he'd go fix it to be less boring. The really cool part of this story was that the graduating class was able to pick who they wanted to give the speech. And they chose him. He said that the school figures its their [the students] money and their graduation, they should be able to pick who they want speaking. IMAGINE THAT!!

11. He always spends time talking about traveling. He's been all over the world and this past year had him going through China, India, Saudi Arabia, Africa and up through Europe to end up starting this tour in Dublin, Ireland. Hence, this tour being called "The Frequent Flyer Tour: Knowledge Without Mileage Equals Bullshit."
There's so much to do and see and so many places to go....and so little time to cram it all in. Henry's travel stories are pretty damn cool and I'd never be able to do them justice by summarizing here.

If you ever have the chance to see him speak...

(SEE ALSO: Henry Rollins Letters To.... They're quite entertaining.)
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