Midget Wrestling

This was "the weed smokin', whiskey drinkin', shit talkin'" Short Dawg. He was a badass.














































































The next to last (wearing grey sweatpants) is Hercules - he came out wearing a roman helmut.

And under him is J-Amazing - he liked to dance.

I only remember Short Dawg's name because of his intro, Hercules because he came out wearing a roman helmut (heh), and J-Amazing because I wanted to put him in my pocket. You would think I'd remember what Black Spandex Dynamite's name was, but I really don't and can't find it on the website. It was Ray-something, I think. There was definitely no 'zazz' workin' for his image other than the spandex. The other white dude, I don't remember either....so atleast I'm an equal opportunity forgetter.

I think Short Dawg won but don't remember anyone really keeping count. There was a trash can lid to the noggin at one point. That was cool. And a couple of 'em hit the floor outside the ring and just kept going. But we couldn't see them at all then.

Cuz they're small.

They should invest in clear turnbuckles and ropes so you can see more of the action with minimal view obstructions.
Plus, it would look like midgets wrestling in the future.
I mean, MICROS wrestling in the future.

In all seriousness, I can't even imagine being a midget and having people talk to you like you're a child or putting yourself out there to capitalize on your small stature and how annoying it would be to deal with a bunch of drunk frat boys who hired you for a party.
But its a paycheck....just for being you.

I wish I had a micro friend.

Do any of you know a mini??

America is a Melting Pot

But you'd never guess that from this picture (from the State of the Union the other night).

Front Row: 2nd dude in is thinkin' about that sweet intern ass he got last night. Dude next to him had ribs for dinner.
2nd Row: 1st dude in is practicing his People's Eyebrow. Dude next to him is shifting on his hemorrhoid pillow.
3rd Row: 1st dude is wondering if anyone's noticed that he's not wearing a dark suit and is silently patting himself on the back for being unique. The Ginger dude in the middle has a soul. Last dude on the right is twittering.
4th Row: 2nd dude in is shielding his eyes because of the glare coming off all the whiteness around him. The dude next to him is trying to fart quietly.
_______________
If you have any white dude captions to add, post it!!
Bonus points if you include the dude's name.
__________________________

A Phantom Review

Last night, Matt and I went to see Phantom of the Opera.
We were about 5 or 10 mins late because I was celebrating some awesomeness with Willie after work and then the waitress didn't cash us out fast enough and then I raced home with a full bladder but couldn't pee because we didn't have time, but Matt had time to pee even though he was supposed to run out to the car and hop in through the window after sliding across the hood and then we'd take off, but he didn't do that.
He peed and I waited with a full bladder and about 3.5 mins after I pulled up, we were able to go.
And then there was Magic traffic.
And then the tears started to well because my innards were about to explode.
Matt said that when we got close to valet parking, I could run out and find a bathroom in the hotel.
So we did that and I had to run all hunched over because if I stood up straight, something very wrong would happen to my guts.
Or I'd piss myself all over the valet line for the Marriott.
And then I'd have to sit with a soggy bottom (in jeans, no less. wet jeans are the WORST) during the whole show.
So when I was finally able to urinate, it was orgasmic.
2nd BEST Pee EVAR.
(1st BEST Pee EVAR - I'll tell you about another time, if we remind me.)

So after the 2nd BEST Pee EVAR, I went back through the hotel lobby and found Matt sitting in the car waiting for the valet fella.
Did the whole valet thing, chatted up the crossing-guard-cop, walked over to the Bob Carr, walked in, and found our seats.
And although they weren't front row as I'd originally thought (front row being triple letter rows, who knew?), they were very good seats.
We walked in while they were doing the cymbal monkey auction and getting into the Elephant rehearsal, etc.
It was beautiful.
The voices took some getting used to.
I'm so used to hearing either Sarah Brightman & Michael Crawford, or Emmy Rossum & Gerard Butler.
The first half was lacking feeling. They weren't really into it.
And then, like the magic that works during a football halftime, it felt as if they really brought out their shit during the last half after the interlude.
"Masquerade" was awesome, although I kept expecting some of the costumes to dance before realizing they were dressed up mannequins and not actually part of the choreography. They were scene fillers.
I didn't get choked up like I thought I might.
When I went to see Lion King a few years ago, it was all I could do to not just start sobbing....it was that moving.
Maybe the sound system was better then.

I did hum along to some of my favorite music.
Seeing this show, made me want to go see it in Vegas. Last I recall, it was playing at The Venetian.
This show made me want it to be BIGGER!! And where best to see BIG but in Vegas?
duh.

What was the last musical/play/show you saw out and what did you think??

Big Asspirin 2

Big Asspirin

7 Days

Passion

pas⋅sion /ˈpæʃən/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [pash-uhn] –noun

1.	any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.

2.	strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.

3.	strong sexual desire; lust.

4.	an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.

5.	a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.

6.	a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.

7.	the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him.

8.	an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.

The rest of the definition was all Jesus dying and stuff...
Hey, maybe you're passionate about him. Maybe he's your homeboy. Amigo. Comrade.

Anyway - a while back someone asked me what I was passionate about.
I didn't really have a super solid answer.

Matthew's asked me this before, too.
When we first started, he came over and commented on my collection of musicals on vhs and dvd. (damn yeah, I still had my vcr.) He asked me if that's what I was passionate about. Yeah, I was into it, but at that time I really couldn't define what my passion was.

**side note: As I'm typing this, Matthew is being passionate about the US Census doing commercials.**

If you email me, you'll notice that my addy is 'muselyn'. It was my very first screen name on the interwebs those many years ago.

Muse: noun.
(definition goes into a bunch of Greek mythology first, then-)
1. any goddess presiding over a particular art
2. (sometimes lowercase) the goddess or the power regarded as inspiring a poet, artist, thinker, or the like.

and then my middle name.

So, yeah (duh) I have a super solid answer for the question.

I've always been passionate about The Arts. I'm completely unable to pinpoint it or narrow it down or focus on just one thing that falls under The Arts umbrella.
Dance, acting, painting, sculpting, music, singing, drawing, story telling....
I'm absolutely in love with it all.
That's my passion!

Tell me what yours is.
TELL ME NOW!!

AVATAR - finally, geez

After 3 failed attempts to see this uber-hyped movie, we finally made it in last night. In eye-popping IMAX 3D, of course.

While I don't understand people's suicidal thoughts after seeing the movie, I do understand the depression they might feel afterwards.
But not because of longing for a beautiful world.


We already have a beautiful world. People just don't go outside to look at it or appreciate it because of cubicle jobs, computers and video games, and busy schedules.

I will admit, I had the blues (haha, get it, cuz they're BLUE) after watching Avatar.
I had the same blues after seeing Pocahontas and Fern Gully and Medicine Man (soundtrack for that one kicked so much ass).

Why? Because it made me sad that Man is all about destroying the natural world around us.
It makes me wonder what would've happened had the Native American's pushed out the Euro's and been able to keep the land they thrived on and among without having to tear everything down.

I attribute these feelings to being a small percentage Native American and as small as that percentage may be, the feelings I get after watching so much senseless destruction of nature is really quite strong. My somewhat pagan spiritual beliefs also have something to do with such a reaction.

The people that long for a Pandora-like world are those that take our own for granted. Go take a long walk some where there's no traffic. Get outside of the city every once in a while. Take a kayak out on a river. Go diving in the ocean. Go camping. Take a hotair balloon ride. Unplug yourself from electronics and plug yourself in to being in tune with what's around you.

Yeah, yeah, I know this makes me sound like a damn dirty hippie.
I don't care. I'm not the one longing for a computer-generated-made-up alien world.

What I LOVED about Avatar was all the bioluminescence James Cameron used in the night scenes. That's always been my favorite part about underwater studies and its so cool to see what he's been able to observe in the ocean over the past 10yrs being used in a movie.

Greatest movie ever? No. Its the same story that's been told and retold about someone trying to fit into a different society or culture that doesn't belong, learning their ways only to be seen as the one that brought death & destruction with them, and then saving everyone's asses in the end. But it sure is pretty to look at.

Will it change the way movies are made? Yes, without a doubt. Its the most real motion capture computer generated anything we'll see for a while. Remember how cool it was when Trinity did that jumpkick in Matrix and we were all like, "Holy Shit that was fuckin' awesome!! I've never seen that before!!" And now we're like, "Yawn...I've seen that before."
This will be like that.

I also think its funny that computer software has evolved to perfect things like hair movement and water ripples but fire is still a bit tricky. Not explosions, but just a lit fire.
Someday, computers will perfect everything we already see in life, but I don't think we're quite there yet.
And for that, I'm a small percentage thankful.

What's YOUR favorite part of Avatar or favorite jaw-dropping effects moment in a movie?

Hail To The Chia

It's been a whole year.

Yes, We Still Can??

Things To Do Before You Croak

I've always had a list of Things To Do Before I Die.
Middle school was the earliest I can remember having it but I've never written it down on paper or any other medium.
Lately, I hear old(er) folks call it a "Bucket List" because of that dumb Jack/Morgan movie.
There's a show coming up this month on Mtv called The Buried Life based on something similar and it looks pretty badass so that emmineffer is gettin' thrown onto the dvr, fo sho'.

Here's my list from what I can remember over the years (as well as recently):

1. SCUBA certification
2. Write/Publish a book
3. Live somewhere other than Florida
4. Travel the world
5. Swim with great whites in barrier reef
6. Go sky-diving
7. Be on TV - done (when I was a kid, we went to Universal when they taped a Nickelodeon show and I was in the audience)
8. Have a painting in a gallery/art show
9. Own my own biz being generally creative

I'll add more as I remember/think of stuff.

What's on YOUR list??

Noodles & Art

Tonight we go see this guy's work at this bar after eating noodles at this place.

I Have a Date With A Masked Man

I think I first heard a snippet of the music from Phantom of the Opera when I was a kid and used to play with my grandmother's music boxes. I've been completely hooked ever since. Its always been my favorite musical I've never seen on stage.
Gerard Butler did awesome job in the most recent movie (serious spankbank material). I still haven't seen the Robert Englund version from '89, but its on my Netflix list along with Dario Argento's version from 1998.
And, YES, I have the 1925 silent film starring Lon Cheney on the list, too. That one's actually been there for a while and was just recently made available on instant streaming. Will watch that one this week and do a review comparing versions. How's that sound?

Anyway, guess who just got tickets for the 8pm show next Thursday?

Section ORCRGT
Row A
Seats 2 - 1
Description

PRICE LEVEL 1
ORCHESTRA
RIGHT SIDE

That's right!! THIS girl.

Throwbacks

It was retro week on facebook (so "They" said) and Matt's been posting a bunch of his kid photos, so I thought I'd share my own here, too - AND so you could witness the evolution of my mullet.







Post mullet.
R.I.P. Karen's Mullet 1989 - 1992

Rubber Gloves

It always makes me laugh when I see people in shows or movies wearing rubber gloves so they don't touch nastiness but then they go and touch their face or scratch their heads while talking about how gross the mess is which is the reason they're wearing the gloves in the first place.

Like, while watching Hoarders on A&E - they'll suit up to shovel shit out of a house, and while they're cleaning, they're talking about the freak who accumulated the mess, and they have one hand on their hip and the other on their forehead.

And while watching Sunshine Cleaning (great flick), there's a scene where Emily Blunt is wearing her gloves and picking through a dead lady's trash and then touches her face.

EW!!

When I was in 11th grade Anatomy class, we dissected fetal pigs and everyone wore rubber gloves except me. I washed my hands afterwards.
But I didn't touch my face during.
And I totally got an A+ that day.

What was the last thing you wore rubber gloves for?

Ahem...That Would Be Why It's RATED R!!

Matt sent me this earlier and for the life of me, I can never figure out WHY there's so much controversy surrounding Rated R movies with kids in them. (and yes, I will fill this with "fuck" because its fuckin' fun)

1. The movie, KICK ASS, is Rated R for a reason. If you see an R rating, that's usually your fuckin' clue that it isn't exactly an event to plan a fuckin' family fun night around so you can pack up the minivan and drive the kids to McDonalds or Chucky Cheese before hitting the movie theater.

2. Yes, there's a kid in it who says, "cunt". Personally, "cunt" is one of my favorite words, so it never offends me to hear it. It feels so good to say. Maybe its my German roots. "Fuck" is right up there with it. And to hear a kid say either just makes me like the kid more. If that child-actor's parents were offended and didn't want their kid using such language, then the kid wouldn't be in the fuckin' movie to begin with. Kids don't fuckin' care - words are just words.....until adults get offended, say they're bad words, and correct them with either a mouthfull of soap or a time out (since slapping/beating/belting is no longer allowed - which is also crap but I'll save that for another post).

3. Yes, the kid in there also kicks a LOT of ass and in a very stylish way. I would think this would be something you might want your kid to see so they won't get their own weenie little asses kicked out on the playground at recess. There are a lot of parents out there that buy their kids Call of Duty/Modern Warfare or GTA and they overlook the game rating and get offended after seeing their kids play the shit out of it. These must be the same parents that get offended about movies like KICK ASS. That makes no sense. The other part that makes no sense is that these parents are people MY age....
Also, I don't recall any controversy surrounding Role Models and there are kids in that saying "fuck" and "shit" and talking about boobies. Where was the outrage for that one?

Solution: If you're that fuckin' offended just from seeing the fuckin' trailer, don't take your fuckin' family to see the fuckin' movie.

See? Solved. And everybody's happy.

What's YOUR favorite "bad word"?

Superman vs Aslan the Lion and Big Christianity

You know how Christians claim C.S. Lewis' classic Narnia set as allegory?
This wasn't what C.S. Lewis intended when we wrote it but you can read about all that when you look it up on wikipedia and see there's an entire section on Christian Parallels.

Why is this not so for Superman? Why is there no "Christian Parallels" section?

Jor El sent his only son to Earth to watch over and protect it's people. Right? Just like my other boyfriend whose name rhymes with "odd" who had a son named Jesus who was a carpenter (I used to watch the hell outta that guy on PBS. If someone can find me his old show intro, I'll love you forever) and the first known surfer (duh...walk on water much?), who's mother was a virgin (if you don't count anal).

Anyway, I don't ever remember anyone ever saying "yup, there's a christian parallel there" while watching Christopher Reeve fly around with his dreamy blue-eyed, underwear-on-the-outside-of-his-tights sportin', plastic red boots havin' ass. Nor do I remember seeing the Superman VHS set or comic books on the church library bookshelves the way I did The Chronicles of Narnia.
So I'd thought I'd point it out for you.

AND were you aware that the reading order for Chrarniacles is just as confusing as watching Lost during its regular TV season instead of via Netflix?? What the hell is that about?
No wonder I never got past the 2nd or 3rd chapter of Prince Caspian (which came 2nd in the reading order of the box set I owned as a kid).

If you say something like, "well Superman didn't die and come back to life the way Aslan and Jesus did", I'll say bullshit. He has in the books.

Can you think of any other pop-iconic figures that have Christian Parallels (great band name, btw)??

PS. Now that I'm reading more about the creators of Superman, I'm learning that they're Jewish which is probably the main reason why Aslan and Superman aren't represented the say way on Big Christian bookshelves.
But then....wasn't Jesus a jew, too?

oh, SNAP!

January Cold

Do you look at your snot after you blow your nose?

NYE the video

Here's what our New Year's Eve looked like.
Great fun and great people!!

The Magical 40

Everyone always has "losing weight" as a resolution for the new year, right? And you know I have a trainer. Both Matt & I have been going to the local Gold's for the last 5 years. And before that, the World's on the other side of town.
We both have yo-yo'ed various body shapes and weight pretty much all our lives.
Skinny, chubby, fat, chubby, skinny, fat, chubby
Its a funny thing to be a yo-yo-er.
You notice how differently you're treated by random people.

My junior/senior years, I went from chubby to skinny after deciding to walk on the treadmill everyday for an hour while watching Oprah, cut out mayo, and drink fruit and veggie juices.
I noticed more people at school and work talked to me when I was skinny. Not just guys - everyone....even teachers.
Then, in my early 20s I got fat. And depressed. Only a couple of guys noticed me then. I remember this one guy saying that I was bigger than he'd imagined when we'd been set up to meet. When I started at the company where I work now, not too many people spoke to me there either. Just my boss and the people around my desk. It was a big building.
So, I decided to change my shape. In my old journal there's an entry that says something about wanting to be a hardbody and joining a gym.
So I did. At a World's Gym that was women only and I had a trainer who was in fitness & body building competitions. She trained me for about 3 weeks or whatever the free training special was at the time of signing up. I lost about 40lbs in about a year, year & a half. I remember going to Walmart (back when I used to shop there) and this woman walked up to me and said, "You're so lucky to be so skinny."
Huh? This shit ain't LUCK, believe me.....but thank you, I guess, strange lady.
Man Alive! (hahaha) did I start making a lot of friends at work! And way more flirtatious attention from guys. These same guys I'd already been working with for the past 1.5 yrs.
One of them I married later on.
This other guy, I used to joke with because he saw me all the time when I was fat and never spoke to me even though I'd said, "Hey" passing in the hall or at the cafeteria. He started talking to me (couldn't get him to shut up) when I got skinny, we hung out and had drinks and he'd tell me about crazy girlfriends and stuff and then it tapered off again. Coincidentally at that same time, I'd also gained about 15lbs. So, I'd message him and give him shit like, "Wow...now I know I'm fat. I haven't heard from you in a while."
I gained more weight. We haven't spoken since.

Matthew recently has lost about 40lbs. He said he's surprised about how many random folks at the gym are talking to him now. Like I said, we've been working out there for about 5 yrs now. With most of the same folks.
I told him it was the magical 40lbs.

If any of you lose 40lbs, I guarantee you'll notice it too.
When I lose this 40 (maybe just 30) this year, you can bet your sweet sugary ass, I'll be taking notes.