This is the warning label on a bottle of Andre Spumanti.
Friendly Reminder: Please don't look directly at the champagne bottle cork while you open it.
Because then you won't be able to enjoy your delicious mimosa.
Since you'll only have one eye, your depth perception will be off and you'll keep missing your delicious mimosa glass when you reach for it. And then it'll spill. And then you'll have a sticky orange juice mess to clean up.....with only one eye. So you know you'll do a shitty job and leave orange juice streaks behind. And then it'll draw ants. And then they'll get stuck in the orange juice streaks sludge and die. And somewhere you'll have orphaned some baby ants back in the hole their parents bravely treked out of on a grand adventure to harvest and bring back orange juice remnants for their offspring. So then the baby ants will starve and die.
All because you just HAD to look at the champagne bottle cork when you opened it.
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