Friday, May 22, 2009

15 Minutes

Its 9 a.m. and a colleague calls.
I'm conveniently away from my desk grabbing a cup of tea.
I conveniently return his call.
He asks me what my plans are for the up coming 3 day Memorial Day weekend.
"I'm going to be the pool...." in a sloooow drawl emphasizing just how lazy I plan to be.
"What are your weekend plans?"

He proceeds to tell me about his son coming in with his girlfriend that he's been seeing for like 8 months whom 'dad' has never met before. His son is going to college in the fall. "Good that I'm getting to meet her now before you have to break up with her...." His son didn't find the humor in that.
Then he tells me that his sister-in-law is a "kook" and is "certifiable" - as he continues to describe her, I interject, "Like a Real Housewife of Manhattan?" He replies, "Yeah....have you ever seen Nanny Diaries?" No, don't think I have. He gives me the movie synopsis, I add it to my NetFlix list, and then he goes back to talking about his sister-in-law and how she's got constant turn around on nannies - a new one every time they visit during holidays and such. And its more than likely due to some sort of disagreement (because sis-in-law is insane) and the nanny quits....not a "firing" as she likes to tout. He tells me some other family history stuff and stops and says, "That's probably all too much info...."
Then he tells me about how his 7 yr old girl comes up to him the other day and says, "C'mere, I want you to meet my 3 dogs." He follows her and she's got an empty carton of Gogurt yogurt, an empty box of veggie burgers, and an empty pill bottle all tied to leashes. She presents them and says, "Their names are Gogurt, Meat, and Pills."
Then he tells me that he upgraded his tv finally and bought a 55' Samsung LED - the one with the really cool hummingbird commercial. He can't get cable because he lives out in the sticks, and with DirectTV, he can't get a clear line in. So he has this nice big new TV and no HD glory to view with it. He tells me that DishNetwork is coming out later that afternoon and to wish him luck.
Then he says, "The real reason I called you...." and gets into reminding me about some work related stuff that needs to get done that we've all sort of slacked because its "not revenue generating".

When I hung up, I looked at the time stamp on my phone.
14mins, 40 seconds.
That conversation was better than coffee!!
I bet if he wrote a book, it would all run together, no need for chapters.
Like Denis Leary's.
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