Birthday Presents

So, Matthew IMed me the other day. We were both working and it was probably late morning-ish when he sent me "OK....don't laugh....." That pretty much ruins it right off the bat and I'm guaranteed to laugh at whatever comes next.
He sends, "I'm doing research on colonics." YAY!!!
I said, "We can do that for my birthday!!"
So he sends me 2 links:
1. http://www.colonics4bodywellness.com/Colonics.html
2. http://www.sionewellnesscenter.com/colon.htm

I tell him that I'm totally down for it.

We're doing this super serious routine in training for our Alaska trip coming up in July. He wants to lose 20lbs in the next 60 days. I'd be happy to lose any and as much as I can over the next 60-80 days. We've been going to the gym every morning and he's been making it a 2nd time in the evening. My 2nd trips are here and there throughout the week depending on what's going on in the evenings.

So his colonic thing is in hopes that 1) it'll help detox all the crap he's eaten over the past 30someodd years that might be stuck and not wanting to come out and 2) will motivate him to keep a clean system and 3) to lose John Wayne size poo matter which will also reflect on the scale.
My hopes are that 1) it'll be cool to watch my poo traveling down a see-through tube. 2) feeling 10lbs lighter after getting a good clean gut flush and 3) to lose John Wayne size poo matter.

Seeings how our #3's are pretty much the same, I also hope that we'll be able to sit next to each other while its going on and we can see each other's tubes so we can race our John Wayne poo matter.

I will keep you posted on what comes up and if we get to do any sort of video, etc. Usually doctor's offices are against that whole thing because of law suits. But maybe Cloudy Logic will help us throw something together.
Also its been requested that afterwards, when I blog my experience that Matthew also includes his version of the experience on here as well.

Also for my birthday, I have requested the following:

1. A new mascot costume. Any animal will suffice. My chicken suit has gotten pretty worn out over the past 5 yrs.
2. 3 Olives RootBeer vodka
3. Fantasia on dvd
4. Carrotcake cupcakes
5. Entenmann's donuts (a must have every year - in wax chocolate and chocolate turd flavors)
6. A big ream of canvas would be cool
7. a naked man doing cartwheels and/or jumpingjacks
8. a date with Nathan Fillion and/or Jeremy Sisto
9. Nathan Fillion and/or Jeremy Sisto naked doing cartwheels and/or jumpingjacks
10. all the boys (Matt, Chad, Clint, Lewis, Jason, Tom, and JohnJohn) to get dressed up in tuxedos and play catch with a football within 3ft of each other like they did in "The Room" by Tommy Wiseau
11. a puppy
12. a hippo
13. a pegasus
14. a mermaid tail

I will include other additions as they come to me.
There are exactly 13 and a half shopping days left!!!