This sums up my Saturday night.

Willie says I have the worst comebacks:

Unfortunately I had a happy finger and cut this one off just before the grand finale:

My feeshes.

Those of you who read my other site know about my fish thing. I just recently had a really cool fish die and after mourning - went shopping for new fish. I got 4. Muppet, Whitey, and Jibba Jabba. Jibba has since died at an early age. So, here are pictures of Muppet, Whitey (White Flour), and Jabba....

One of my favorite commercials

The guy in the mustache is the best.



There's another one - for Orville Redenbacher popcorn - where a group of women get together for a girls night and it shows what would happen if the women were partyin' with popcorn vs. what would happen if they were partyin' with chips or some other snackin' food.
I can't find it right now - but it cracks me up.

Will keep searching.

Hell Yeah

Oki Kinoki Dope

I'm an idiot. I didn't really READ the instructions for Kinoki footpads - I just saw in the commercial that there was 1 on each foot and the person slept and eventually the footpad turned cleaner.

There really is a 2 week supply. 14 pads to each box.

Per the instructions - apply 1 on one foot each night, alternating feets night after night. And I had'em on sideways - atleast according to the picture on the box. But then they're wrong too for having 2 feet on the box and both have a kinoki footpad. And both feet belong to the same person.

Here's my day 4 anyway - maybe I did end up giving it a jump start.

One Is The Loneliest Number

Kinoki Day 3

I wonder if a person can get addicted to Kinoki footpads. The box is a lie - there is truly only a 1 week supply. I should be pissed off and not want anymore but now I'm obsessed with the hope that one day - my footpad will be clean when I wake up in the morning. If I put 2 footpads on each foot - will that make the process go faster?? If I had bigger feet - would that help? Willie asked me if I've been dreaming and after a moment of thought, I realized that I've been sleeping so hard the past few nights, there haven't been any dreams. Except the short one this a.m. where I dreamt that upon kinoki footpad removal - it was clean!! Oh maybe someday....until then - ANOTHER VISIT TO WALGREENS IS IN ORDER!!

The Great Kinoki Footpad Experiment of 2008

This is Day 1.
This is Day 2.

The other night we went to Walgreens and they had a huge pile of Kinoki foot pads. After seeing the commercials a few times I was curious. The front of the box says, "Includes 14 pads!!" in one spot and in another, "A 2 Week Supply!!!". If you have 2 feet - wouldn't 14 pads be a one week supply?? When you put'em on, there's a warm tingly sensation. Its kinda cool. And I've been sleeping really really well the past 2 nights. And after I took them off yesterday a.m., I went to have a cig with my coffee and felt like shit immediately afterwards - to the point where I don't want another cig.
Kinda interesting. We shall see how long it takes my toxic body to unload through the soles of my feet. I wonder if I had bigger feet - would it funnel through faster? Maybe if I double up on Kinokis, we can speed up the process. But that would cut down my fake 2 week supply.

Comfy Sunday Night

Just got back from seeing The Dark Knight. It kicked ass.
I want to see it again cuz I know my head was foggy and I missed a buncha stuff at the beginning.
I miss Heath Ledger.
Damn shame.
That was the BEST 2Face ever and the creepy climaxing sound effect that went along with whatever chaotic crap Joker was doing was AWESOME!!
I still love Tony Stark so far for superhero movies this year.
This is the first time I've had Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey.
Damn this shit is good.
Instead of Zombie Prom this year we're doing Superhero Happy Hour. We haven't decided what bar the happy hour will be at but we thought it would be funny to have everyone dressed as super heroes/villians who were in character and taking the night off from crime and fighting it. The challenge is to stay in character. The other challenge is to get kicked out for a bar brawl between hero and villain.
Yeah - haha - bonus.
That will fucking rule.

If these walls could talk...

They'd say, "HOLY SHIT, THERE'S A LEAK!!"
From 3 to 4pm this afternoon I was on a work call. During which my bladder reached its maximum capacity. When the call finally ended, I did the pee belly shuffle to our downstairs bathroom. While I was sitting there in urinating induced euphoria, I noticed this faint hissing sound. It was behind me. And there was a puddle under the magazine rack. Being my father's daughter, I must find out where the hissing noise and puddle is coming from. The puddle is reflecting a slight ripple so I put my hand out to feel what's making it do that. My hand follows a misting coming from behind the water line going to the toilet tank. Not a good sign.
I turn off the water to the toilet and its still hissing and misting like a hole in a hose. I holler for Matt to come down from his office and supervise what's about to happen and help me make sure that the water main is actually where I think it is.
We shut the water to the house off.
I tug on the toilet line and a pipe pops off. eesh. So I reach up into the soggy wall to find what it had been connected to. I find that pipe and pull that one down to try and connect it back to what had separated from it. About a 7 inch pc of pipe pops off in my hand. Mother. fuck.
Our plans of going to see Mongol at the Enzian are now turning into wet and moldy drywall.
We grab a hammer and a wrench. The wrench to get the toilet tank off the bowl. The hammer to bust into the wall to find the connecting piece of the now incomplete plumbing. I just finished the wall tile about 2 or 3 months ago. I slam the hammer into the wall and the head of it sinks into the drywall as if it were mashed potatoes.
Apparently this isn't a new problem.
I break of parts of my new tile job and break apart the mold spore ridden plaster to give us a good size hole to work in - but not to big that it can't be hidden behind the toilet tank later on. We go to Lowe's and get some pipe cement to fix the shit back on. The pipe cement did absolutely nothing except stick my fingers together. I called my plumber girl, Krackwhore, and give her the scoop. She says what we have is polybuterol pipe and that there's currently a class action lawsuit against the makers because of leaks and flood claims. I'm signing up tomorrow. We go back to Lowe's and find Greg. Greg is our friend and tells us there's a class action lawsuit against our 7 inch piece of pipe we brought in with us. He also recommends replacing the elbow joints with these super cool, super easy new fangled pressure release elbow joints. We don't even need glue or cement or purple primer. So we take that shit home and Krackwhore is there. We go in, install our new fancy elbows, curse a few more times, get that shit tightened up and the toilet tank bank on and no more drips when we turn the water main back on. HUZZAH WATER RETURNS TO OUR VILLAGE!! OH GLORIOUS DAY!! So now we have a big moldy hole behind the toilet tank which is currently being aired out with a fan aimed at it. And the closet under the stairs will be in need of a new coat of primer once its dried out. And I need some tilex or a spray bottle for bleach to kill those mold spores. Hope I don't die in my sleep from mold inhalation.

Thus ends how I spent my Friday night.

Altamonte Gladiators 2008

So, I'm supposed to blog about Altamonte Gladiators. And the way I was going to do it is taking too long and I don't have the patience to sit down and really focus on it to do it right. I figured by the time I got it done and all the kinks worked out - it would be a week or more after Altamonte Gladiators even took place. And who the hell would care about it then??
Plus my head hurts right now.
First, a little history.
Way back in 2006 we held our very first Summer Bomb party. It was supposed to be a massive May baby birthday bash but kept getting pushed back - until it was in July. We just really wanted to have another reason to have a party after our Christmahannukwaanzaakuh Martini Jam was so much fun. And who wants to wait a whole friggin' year?? So Summer Bomb it was. At first I'd wanted it to be a "make your wildest dreams come true" type of party with anything anyone could possibly ever have wanted to do available at the drop of a hat. We lined up a 30 ft inflatable slip-n-slide and another water slide, but it was the climb up and slide over kind with a splash pool at the bottom. We didn't really have a theme but I knew I wanted to blow shit up and pirates rule - so I did party favor bags like what you got when you were a kid. We made them purdy with a Jolly Roger and war stickers and filled them with pirate crap - pencils, super balls, fake tatoos, stickers, eye patches, teeth, etc. We had a keg (which only got about 3 qtrs killed) and had a ton o' yard toys and food stuffs and fireworks. The last person left at 4 am. It was a DAMN good party.
So last year we kicked it up a little bit and did Cops-n-Robbers. Matt and I built a jail cell. We had Personal Effects envelopes full of badges, whistles, tiny handcuffs, etc. We had the same 30ft slip-n-slide, but 2 of them, and then a full bounce house. There was a smiley face pinata I made to look like a robber. Robble Robble. Another keg (which only got about 3 qtrs killed) and a bunch of chik-fil-a. At around midnight, our neighbor came over, smacked me, and said we needed to have more food out. She went home and came back about 20mins later with a big platter of spaghetti. Last person to leave was at about 2/2:30. It was a damn good party.
Because we had such a good time with those - its something we really look forward to every year now. Its a chance for us to hang out with all of our favorite people and act like complete and utter fools.
This year we decided to do a play on American Gladiators (one of my guilty pleasures) and encourage everyone to wear spandex and really throw down. We got crap to play powerball, we had an Eliminator Course set up between the 30ft slip-n-slide and this random octopus bounce house slide thing. The bounce house was pretty damn funny. It was like an undersea adventure with an octopus looming over head and dolphins on the outside. Inside there was a basketball hoop (cuz that's a very popular game down in the deep blue depths) and a seahorse that looked more like a big letter "J". I guess kids like to ride it but it doesn't really hold up well for adults - we just fell off it or crushed it repeatedly. To get into the bounce house there was a bounce ramp leading up inside. After being on the slip-n-slide and going through 2 bottles of dish soap, this ramp, along with everything else inside got very very slippery and I swear I had the best time for about an hour in there all by myself when it got late. Just slidin' around in circles and trying to stand up and floppin' around like a feesh. Getting out, I slid down the ramp thing and landed square on my tailbone. Which made Sunday very painful. Anyway - along with the slide in the bounce house that I think only 3 or 4 people actually made it up ,and the "J", and the 30ft slip-n-slide, we also decided to play beer pong. We'd gotten a pony keg this year since we hadn't finished the ones years past. We killed that poor little pony keg in about 2 or 3 hrs. The boys left to get another one. And that one ended up floating. Matt says there's about half left in there. HA! We killed 3 qtrs of a keg. Atleast we're consistent!! There was a late night pool venture and I heard (maybe saw) a man-on-man chickenfight. I remember swimming from one end to the other. And I remember running back to the slides. I really do make a point to get our money's worth while they're here. Infact - when I finally got off of them, most people had gone for the night. I remember boxing a couple of guys. Yes, I hit like a girl. Last folks left around 2ish.

It was a damn good party.

Maybe I'll start either Gladiator or boxing training soon. Maybe next week - after my coccyx is healed.

Now all I need to do is post something.

My ass is sore. I think I broke it after Mayor McCheese gave birth to me.

Must be nap time. Mine eyes are gettin' heavy.

Currently watching Live Free or Die Hard or Whatever.

Wish it was raining.

There's a blister on my big toe. Been there since Thursday.

I really don't want tomorrow to be Monday.

You know what sucks about having a bruised tailbone?

Sitting, coughing, bending over....

You don't realize how often you use your ass until you break it.

Don't take your healthy ass for granted.