Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Man Vs Food

I gotta post this cuz its crackin' me up and I have to share.

So, a buddy o'mine, Matt Kelland, just posted this on facebook:

Oops. I have put on 33lb in the last 61 days since arriving in Florida. That's more than half a pound a day. I think it's time for salad. But damn, it all tasted so GOOD! (Except the Steak'n'Shake. That was vile.)

And there were some boring responses along with:

Tom Kelly: ah - where you're going wrong is you're not watching enough fox news. Get on an exercise bike in front of fox and you'll be so pumped from the stupidity of it all that you don't notice you're burning 700 cal/hour...

ps. it's those half gallon tubs of ice cream for $3 that got me onto the machines in the first place.

So, I replied:

"Tom, you're so right - that's what my husband does every morning (cardio to fox news)!!"

And back on my homepage, I got a post from The Onion that said:

The Onion BREAKING: Fat Piece Of Shit Spotted In Mirror


Pussy

So, earlier today I posted Things That Make Me A Pussy and Matthew would like to add to that one:

11. I bruise easily. So as not to make it sound like Matt beats me, I'll give you an example. This past camping weekend, when we were on the way over, I was extending my arm to put a bag back in the back cargo area and ended up bangin' the shit outta the space of my arm, just above my elbow, on the headrest (it was pointy) - resulting in a bruise.

***I would also like to add, that this conversation between Matt and myself also included (or morphed into) his love and admiration for E.G. Smith socks.
And as much as I would like to pick on him, that boy does have some good taste in sockery. That's some hot shit right there.

Things That Make Me a Pussy

1. I still cry when E.T. is found in the water and is all sick and white and just about dies. And it carries over into when he leaves Elliott. So pretty much the entire last 15-20 mins, I'm cryin'.

2. I whine to my trainer about certain exercises. Naturally, he ignores me and pushes me harder. Its a good balance.

3. I break my thumbnail every single time I go bowling. No matter how short I've just trimmed it in preparation of going bowling.

4. I trim my thumbnail before I go bowling.

5. My feelings get hurt if I feel left out of something.

6. Sometimes watching So You Think You Can Dance moves me to tears.

7. Vacuuming up dead cockroaches or lizards (we have cats & live in FL, remember) through the extension hose thing skeeves me out.

8. I cried when my goldfish died. I also cried when my Jack Dempsey died.

9. Sometimes, I am physically incapable of keeping tequila down.

10. I got performance anxiety after the 3rd time rockin' out on a friend's drum kit because Matt was amazed and kept telling people how awesome it was. I haven't been able to play since. Some day, I will have a drum kit of my own (and room for one) and remedy this.

Random Shuffle

1. Swallowed In The Sea - Coldplay - X&Y
2. Thousands Are Sailing - The Pogues - Ultimate Collection
3. Fairmount Hill - Dropkick Murphys - The Meanest of Times
4. The Inner Light - The Beatles - Past Masters Vol. 2
5. Enemy - Static X - Start A War

Today, my lovely Matthew is obtaining a bunch of stuff that will help with getting more into the Halloween mood (ie. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, BauHaus, Sisters of Mercy). Also going to check out Florence and the Machine cuz I saw her on some live show and she seemed pretty bad ass....climbing up the stage and stuff. Can't wait to hear the rest of their stuff.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Camping!!


Friday night we packed up our crap and headed out to Tomoka State Park for a camping weekend. Its only an hour away, not exactly a grand adventure, but easy to get to and a really nice spot. We were there last November with the crew. I really wanted to go to Anastasia State Park, but they were booked up. They're ALWAYS booked up on the weekends - so it must be a pretty damn cool place.

So we got to Tomoka, found our spot and Matt told me that I could film him putting the tent up in the dark so I could post it on here with pictures and stuff. Except we forgot our camera bag with all the cameras in it. So I'm glad Broken Barn requested a campsite doodle - since we don't have a picture of it.
Matt got the tent pitched, we unloaded all of our stuff, and cracked open beers, threw on some tunes and talked until about 3:30 in the a.m. We drunk dialed my friend Jimmie, who lives in Colorado. After an hour of chatting he says, "OK, I'm gonna go back to bed"....
The next morning we woke up and realized we forgot the kettle to make coffee and I didn't have my water thermos (the tap water smelled like fart), so we went on a run and got that and more beer and ice (essentials). And a couple of chairs that have ottoman things on them. They proved to be quite challenging to adjust....for me anyway. Cuz I'm adjustment challenged.
After our stuff run, we got back to the campsite and celebrated our stuff run with a couple of shots of Jager. Most things get celebrated with Jager in our family of two. "Hey, Matt!! We're back!! SHOT!!" or "Hey, Karen!! I pitched the tent!! SHOT!!" It's quite the reward.
After an hour or so of chillin' - which was me doing my word searches and Matt reading - Brian (my trainer) and his wife, Erika, showed up with their brand new camping gear to break in. We talked for a while, went and walked a short way to the river, then everyone complained about how hot it was and we went back to the site to be still and sweat less. We played an awesome round of catch with the football while Matt napped. When he woke up, more beer was cracked open and the first rumblings of starting the campground fire began. It only took us about 10 mins to really get a good one going, so we danced around it yelling like Tom Hanks in Cast Away (no, not really). After the sun went down, I broke out the glow stick bracelets, and hot dogs. The hot dogs we got from Costco are like 1/4lb. and almost a foot long. They were damn tasty. We finished the Jager and broke out the tequila. Woof. One of mine didn't even make it down (which happens to me with tequila from time to time). Tequila and my gag reflex just don't get along too well. Anyway, I had another one after that one to make up for it. That one stayed.
We were all sitting around by the fire being loud and rowdy and all of a sudden these hairy dudes came wandering out of the woods with beer and sat down and joined us. I don't remember talking to them much but Matt because fast friends, as he's known to do with random folks. I remember looking for the remote for my tunes and eating another hotdog sans bun. Oh. Yeah. 1/2lb of hotdog. Glorious. I also just barely remember one of the neighbors in the site next to us coming over and doing something to our fire to turn the flame blue. It was the coolest thing ever.
Then I remember waking up.
So Matt and Erika filled us in on some more details the next morning. I won't regale you with those. I figure the really good stuff, you just had to be there for and I never throw my own under the bus when it comes to drinkin' and doing stupid stuff. Sometimes you just gotta have some class and keep it in the vault.
Matt did say that at one point he noticed this 12 yr old kid sitting next to him (from the site on the other side of us) and made a joke about chatting with this 12 yr old girl and the "girl" said, "I'M a BOOOOY!!"
In the morning, after we were all up and awake and laughing about stuff we couldn't remember, we had some coffee and started whining about having to break it down and pack up.
Leaving after a kickass weekend is always so depressing.
Although, the shower I had when we got home was The Best Shower EVER. Damn dirty hippie.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Return of Random Shuffle!!

So all this week, I kept forgetting to bring my ipod in from the car (and I'm too lazy to actually go back down to grab it, once I'm in my comfy cubicle). So here's today's 5 and they are GREAT!

1. Wake Up Alone - Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
2. I Belong To You - Muse - The Resistance
3. Just Friends - Billie Holiday - The Ultimate Collection
4. Antichrist Television Blues - Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
5. I Can Learn - White Stripes - White Blood Cells

THAT was followed by Static X and now The Kills. Heavenly.
Apparently the break I gave poor iPod from last week did it some good. Its shuffling better today. Reckon its well rested and happy with me again.