- Your 'fat' jeans are tight.
- You break a sweat trying on different outfits.
- XL shirts don't hide the rolls.
- Your tits muffin top.*
- The spot where your thighs touch threaten to start a fire when you walk.
- The spot where your thighs touch are the only hole worn in your 'fat' jeans that are now tight.
- You look like a stack of mower tires from behind.
- Your elbows are but mere dimples.
- Your underwear rolls down when you sit.
- Your shirt rolls up when you take it off.
- An Englishman calls you the "softest bird" he's ever danced with.
- You wear your husband's swim trunks to a waterpark.
- You sunburnt your stretchmarks.
- You stand in the mirror and see a more fit you underneath the fatsuit you're currently wearing.
- All pictures with you in them, suck.
Seriously, you guys....I've been a horrible disappointment to myself over the past year or two, or three, or six.
I even told me so a couple weeks ago when I tried (and failed, yet again) to keep a weight loss journal**.
This one lasted for not even 2 weeks.
Back in November, I started actin' like I was going to tackle this thing for real and wanted to do a 365 photo/vlog project and blah blah blah.
That one lasted about 2 weeks, too.
I HATE THE TWO WEEK CYCLE!!
Why do I do that?
Why am I letting me down?
Pannacakes just recently told me she hit a goal and is treating herself with some junk from Amazon.
I have no goals.
I've never had any real goals.
I usually just say what I want and then later on (days, weeks, months, years) it happens, but its not like I have a goal set list.
So, here it is.
I'm saying it, outloud, to you and the rest of the universe:
I WANT TO LOSE 30LBS BY THE END OF 2012.
We have 7 months left of the year.
That's 28 weeks.
And that's roughly 2lbs per week (with an added little challenge thrown in)
Here's how I plan to do it. (holy crap...is this a goal??)
- Gym 5 days a week. Bonuses if I have dance class or other high movement-type outings.
- Knock off the beer consumption drastically. If I have any, it'll be dark and heavenly and 2 is my cutoff.
- Cut out the carb intake. No breads, pastas, noodles, or other baked goods. Even whole wheat type crap. This has worked for me before, why don't I go back to what works?
- Lean meats and veg. Fruits in the a.m. Nothing crazy or new here.
- No friggin' CHEESE. This one's a bitch. I fuckin' love cheese...BUT like I said, I've done it before.
Its just time for me to do this again.
I don't like the way I feel. I don't need anyone to make it a competition. I don't need to keep talking about it.
What I do need is encouragement, constant reminders, and to fuckin' DO IT ALREADY.
If you don't like something, change it, right?
Its time to fucking change things.
*I'm so not mad at this one. It took me getting fat to even have tits.
**Written in the book Pannacakes got me that has a picture of a chihuahua dressed up like Michael Jackson on the cover.