Dear Jennifer Garner,

Please stop making faces like this.

Thanks,
Your Upper Lip.

Best Wonder Woman TShirt

Mainly because of the bosom sugar underneath Wonder Woman's face!

Best Hat In The Universe

One of my favorite movies is The Thing.
Wilford Brimley is the shit. My favorite line is at 2:01.

Kurt Russell plays Jack MacReady and wears the best hat in the whole world in the history of time that's ever been known to man.

In the following pictures I will show you proof.

Exhibit A-
Here is The Hat in it's first appearance in the movie:
Look, even his fellow actor is captivated by it's beauty and greatness. He can't stop staring at it. Even when they're clearly talkin' about some important shit in the sky.

Exhibit B-
Here is a scene that represents how mysterious The Hat can look.
And, as Matt pointed out, this also looks a lot like those plywood silhouette standup lawn ornament things you see in Amish country and out in the sticks.


Exhibit C-
There's an entire scene of some crap in a hole looking upon The Hat in total awe and worshipping it from below.

Exhibit D-
And here's one of The Hat about to get out of a helicopter. Being accessorized by some rad glacier glasses, a scarf, and Kurt Russell.

Do you need more proof?

An Abomination

What the hell is THIS??!!
Can someone please explain to me why these appeared in our fridge after the Bomb??

Beverage Fail.

So You Think You Can Dance

OK, so I love this damn show.
Its no secret.
I've admitted this in the past.

I'm horrible with watching it when its live - we always DVR it and watch it later.

But I fuckin' LOVE this from this week.



And this one from Twitch & Comfort from a couple weeks ago is pretty badass:

Aftermath

This is all I can say at the moment.

Wet feet + wood stairs = ouch.

How to Make Your Own Pillory (or stockade)

1. First, it's important to stay hydrated since you'll be working outside. Ask Miller Lite & Michael Jackson for assistance with this.

2. Draw out your idea. Remember to be precise & include measurements.

3. Make sure your tools are charged up so you don't have to sit around & wait when you realize that BOTH drill batteries are completely dead when you're halfway through getting a 2inch screw in. (Michael Jackson can also help here).

4. Build this piece. Which is just 2 boards with circles cut out and then fastened together with 4 other boards.
The lid to a tequila container makes for good hand holes. The lid from the cooler (that we also used for Big Asspirin) was useful in making a good sized head hole.

5. Lay out your pieces for what its gonna stand on. Make sure its at the height you want it before screwing it all together. Keep short friends in mind.

6. Nail everything together at least 6 times. Not just because you want it somewhat sturdy, but also because you love your nail gun. Take leftover cut out scrap pieces of wood that you keep stepping on and nail those up there too (where the hell else are they gonna go? - be resourceful!) Stand that shit up and admire your homemade medieval torture device.

Meat.

I love meat.
I love meat with shrooms cooked in red wine, onions, garlic, & red peppers, sauteed with olive oil & salt.
I love meat with shrooms cooked in red wine, onions, garlic, & red peppers, sauteed with olive oil & salt sitting on top of melted cheeses (rosemary goat & horseradish white cheddar).
I love meat with shrooms cooked in red wine, onions, garlic, & red peppers, sauteed with olive oil & salt sitting on top of melted cheeses (rosemary goat & horseradish white cheddar), all nested on grilled naan bread.

Here's a dragonfly & some other crap I saw outside today.

Sometimes the tv freaks me out.

Like when you're not paying attention cuz you're doing something on the laptop (ordering pizza) and then you look back up and you see this:

Fuckin' Hell

You ever have one of those days where everything around you is forcing you to be bi-polar?

Someone drives you completely insane with hurt......

Then the doorbell rings & its the maintenance dude checking in on a call you made the other night to fix the rain gutters out back so that your fucking house doesn't flood with all these heavy summer storms you've been getting.
So you hope that your outer self isn't exploding from what you were just experiencing moments before, and as you're talking to the maintenance dude about rain gutters, you start to feel a bit of relief because something's happening to fix a potential flooding issue that you worry a little more about every time it rains.
And then your doorbell rings immediately after that and its a damn good friend dropping by, with his sister you've never met, to pick up some damn good comic books and you talk for a bit about some damn fun stuff.


So, for the moment, you're contained.....and, for the moment, you've forgotten about what drove you insane with hurt just minutes ago.....


And then they leave.
And then it's quiet.
And then you start to remember again what drove you insane with hurt just moments ago.
And then you gotta remember to breathe.
And then you're like.....

What.
The.
Fuck.


Its one of those days.

4th of July Fireworks

Every single time I tried to snap a shot of the ones that blew up in the sky, I ended up missing it because the camera was too slow. Ended up with a handful of shots of black sky or tips of tree branches. Had one of a basketball net.
There was cussing.

4th of July

This made me laugh this morning.

What does 4th of July mean to you?

To me, it means a bunch of people left a country they couldn't stand anymore because of religious differences, stole lands from a native people already here, and built upon those stolen lands the foundation for what we have today, which continues to change and grow and move in different directions, like any living breathing thing.
For only being 234 years old, this country has seen & experienced a pretty fast-paced & interesting upbringing.

To me, the 4th also means fireworks & beer.

We missed the Red, Hot, & Boom show last night that takes place over by the mall (how much more america can you get?) - we usually watch from our front window or the big lawn outside.

Instead of standing in our front window watching fireworks, we visited my cousin & Aunt & mom joined & we did a crockpot cook-off.
I made crockpot crap, mom made pork chops & peaches, Dianna made a crockpot cobbler.
Dessert always wins.
Although, Robert (my uncle) made a pretty severe dent in the crockpot crap and asked for the recipe.

Today we go to see Eclipse with mom, then on to The Wilson's & then the Kelland's 4th parties.

Here's a fireworks picture I didn't take.

Here's to you all having a happy and safe 4th of July weekend!!
CHEERS!!

And this is in memory of my grandfather who LOVED that freakin' song & I think of him every time I hear it played (usually during fireworks displays).

GawdBless'Merica

Kudos to the Kraft folks for including this subtle and clever moment in their recent mac&cheese commercial.

Not only am I a fan of him popping a balloon and kicking over the table, but I find this transaction to be particularly (and educationally/historically) humorous (bonus points if you can see why).