Recent Ponderings

• About a month ago, turtles were every where along the roads. It was like an invasion. I even saw one crossing the off ramp of the nearby highway. Apparently, it was mating season and they were all headed to a place to lay eggs or whatever. Turtles crossing I-4 are HORRIBLE parents. Why would you lay eggs (I'm assuming in a median - there was no other place it could've been headed) only to have them hatch later and have your babies, your legacy, try to make it back across a 4 or 5 lane highway to a retention pond that has a fountain in the middle? I'm hoping it was just a turtle suicide in progress that I'd witnessed, and that the thing wasn't just making a grand point of trying to kill off its entire family line.
• What are the differences between jelly, jam, preserves, and marmalade? Why does apple butter get to be a butter? Who decided we needed 5 different words to describe fruit spreads?
• Where did the saying "Happy As A Clam" come from and how do we know he's happy? What if the clam is having a really bad day? What if he's sitting in a bucket some where about to get steamed or covered in batter and fried? Would he still be happy then? Why don't we say, "I'm as pissed off as a clam in a bucket about to be cooked and eaten!" I bet clams hate their Happy stereotype.