Dry Ass Salad

Notice anything funny about this picture?

That's right, winner. My salad dressing ISN'T actually on my salad. "Why?", you ask? After choking on a dry lettuce leaf, I was asking myself the same thing. "Self, why?" and then I looked it up, so now I'll show you in pictures.

That's 14g big ol' grams of FAT in 1 helping of their salad dressing (whatever a "helping" is - usually 2 tblsp for dressings). Eva (my lunch lady) loves to bathe salads in dressing, so today I asked for it on the side. ...And just looked at it...
OK, OK, OK...so I dipped my fork in like 3 times. But that ain't one helping. And the dressing:salad ratio - salad was way winning. To the point of almost killing me. I still have lettuce leaves stuck to the inside of my throat....like esophagus wallpaper.
Look how balanced my little pie chart thing is up there. Like when you're in elementary school learning fractions.

Since I'm trying to get RID of fat - I said, "Self, why the hell would I consume all that fat if I'm trying to get rid of it?" So I took that helping off the chart, and look at my cute little pie chart now! Its all Benzed out and shit.

Best Week Evar

Monday: boring work stuff. concalls, spreadsheets, fire drills. yay. But the cool part (as it always happens) is after work when we take mom out to Houston's in Winter Park for dinner.

Tuesday: boring work stuff again. Nothing cool planned for after work. (although, there could quite possibly be a trip to the Halloween store.)

Wednesday: napping due to more boring work stuff. Nothing cool planned for after work.....yet.

Thursday: stabbing my eyeballs with my pen from boring work stuff. After dislodging, we'll be headed over to Halloween Horror Nights with some peoples. Hell. Yeah. I got us the frequent fear passes since we'll be going again next Thursday - and maybe a couple more times in addition to.

Friday: drumming fingers on desk, doodling, facebook/youtubing because work is so boring. And then going to this Art Stroll thing over at Baldwin Park (which is one of those creepy Truman show neighborhoods) in Orlando. My friend, Anna, is selling some of her works there (also found here).

Saturday: YAY NO BORING WORK STUFF!! Sleeping in, cleaning, general putzing and then going here for dinner for Jessica's 30th birthday. After gorging ourselves on all that meat on sticks, we're going here (because we live in Florida and have to pay to hang out in cold weather for 45 mins at a time). Sound silly? Yes, I agree. But, hey, it ain't my birthday. And, hey, I do like vodka. And what goes with vodka?!? PARKAS!!

Sunday: Repeat of Saturday morning. Later in the evening, we'll be going to H.O.B. to see The Bravery! YAY!!! Love them.

SO fuckin' excited about this week!!
And NEXT week will be a damn good one too. But its too soon to tell you about it. So there.

Happy Birthday, Mom!!

Here's hoping this year brings grand new (drama-free) adventures!!

Love you much!!

Douchebag Tool

Per Willie's request: Name: Douchebag Tool
Mean Spirited, Dislikes Children, Hates Water (haha, threw that one in there), Flirty, and Great Kisser.
He's in a better mood if he has more enemies. His life-long dream is to be a Gold Digger, which will be accomplished when he sees the ghost of his dead (rich) spouse.
So he's been talkin' to the ladies to see who's rich and willing....

He's kindof a nerd and works at the science center and enjoys gardening. So he went to the library to learn more gardening tips and thought he'd hit on some of the older females (from the nicest house on his block). He chatted up this lady (her name escapes me at the moment, play on playah) and got all flirty and shit and then....

...She pissed herself and ran away. So after pointing and laughing, he chatted up her sister (next to the pee puddle).

Unfortunately, he hasn't met the right rich sugar mama to spit game to, but he's still working on it. Until he meets her, he's content to sit in his house and listen to his favorite classical music (?...forgot to change his faves so he got randoms. Likes- music: Classical, food: Stew, color: Red). And read books. And tend his garden. Maybe he'll take up fishing. If you grow enough veggies and catch a bunch of fish, you can sell it at the market.

Haha - you're a peeping tom now. Perv.

bleh

why does it hafta feel like its gonna walk right outta there?

Stuff

Last night we saw this:

And tonight, we're going to see this:

Blogging More Often...

Makes your stats look way better.
I was looking at how many posts I made during the month of September and was like, "DAMN!!!, There's atleast 45!!!"

And so here's a visual aid.

Counts report for muselyn Last 30 Days | This Month | Last Year | By Countries | By Browsers | OS Stats All hits Unique visitors

Also, posting my link on Facebook every once in a while also helps the stats.