Zombie Cat Brainstream

One of our lovely neighbors (& massive Snoop fan) gave us a cat calendar earlier this year.  We've got it pinned up over the trash can in the kitchen.
The other day (Friday, I think), I was in the kitchen eating a messy plum over the trash can and started staring at the calendar for snack-time entertainment.
Here's what it sounded like in my head for that moment.

"These cats are kinda creepy.  Look at those eyes.  What is that around their mouths?  Is that blood?  I bet its blood."

"It is blood.  Look at the mess on the black cat's face.  Clearly they're evil and are eyeballing me because I'm salty and they're waiting for me to not notice them so they can pounce and Matt will come home to find a half eaten me all over the floor and fat satisfied creepy ass cats with scary yellow eyes."

 "Oh...no, wait.  Its just that big ass watermelon making their mouths messy.  Would watermelon do that to fur?  Why would cats be eating watermelon?  Its not like they could spit the seeds out.........

.....Awhell...its September."