Friday Night with Henry

Matt's a big fan of Henry Rollins since Black Flag days. I became aware of Henry in Rollins Band days, but don't really consider myself to be a fan. He's ok. Most times I think he's a cornball who likes to hear himself talk and occasionally makes really good points. Good points, I am a big fan of.
Friday night was about our 3rd, maybe 4th Henry spoken word show.
Here are a few highlights:

1. "What I don't remember, I just make up. Impressive none-the-less, right?" --Diamond David Lee Roth
2. We were standing at the bar with a running tab and listening, and this fella came up next to us and asked, "What's your cheapest well whiskey on the rocks?" $4.50/4.75 He ordered one and left. I leaned over to Matt and said, "He's on a hard budget." About 15mins later the same fella came back and asked, "What's your cheapest whiskey on the rocks?" DIDN'T YOU JUST ORDER ONE?!? He gets the same answer as he did 15mins ago and says, "OK, what's your cheapest beer?" Eyes roll.
3. Right next to where that guy kept ordering cheap drinks was a fella with a ski hat on that kept snorting during the entire show. He sounded like a pig. Either coke nose, a sinus infection, or an itchy throat. Whatever it was it was annoying as hell.
4. Henry was telling a story about Burma and asked why the most oppressed people are so soft spoken and nice. My answer to him is: Because they're oppressed and beaten down....and I would think a world traveler would kinda pick up on that.
5. A new way to say "take a piss" when you're out in the wild - "Put the biologic to the tree."
6. Henry went to the killing fields in Vietnam and was commenting on the war and said something about there having been a war on the intellectual there and how that wouldn't happen here. I disagree - let's not forget the witch trials. America is still a young country compared to the rest of the world and there are plenty of phases she hasn't gone through yet.
6. It bugged me a little bit when Henry was telling stories about going to the middle east and gaining more knowledge of other cultures by traveling. The stories he told of going over there were fascinating - the people he met there were interesting and he asked them really good questions about life there. Later, he told us a story about doing a show where he went down to New Orleans to interview Katrina survivors. I was completely disappointed when one of his questions, to a fella who'd been flooded out of his house, jumped in his fishing boat, and boated to his buddy's house, where his friend was stuck up on his roof was, "Why did you go back and pick your friend up?" Seriously....?

After the show we went to Virgin Mega Store and I bought these books cuz they entertained me:
1. Goodnight Bush - An Unauthorized Parody by Erich Origen & Gan Golan. This was particularly hysterical to me because Goodnight Moon was my favorite book as a bitty kid. And I loathe W. http://www.goodnightbush.com/
2. 30 Days of Night: Beyond Barrow by Steve Niles and Bill Sienkiewicz
3. All About Us - A Question Book for Couples by Philip Keel. Thought it would be fun for me and Matt to fill in every once in a while. If we could only decide who gets to be A: and who gets to be B:.
4. Movie Icons: Dean by FX Feeney. This one is a mini coffee table book of James Dean photos, quotes, and nuggets of trivia. Its beautiful and I love him.

"Ignorance Is A Cancer"

A few months ago, after coming to the conclusion that public speaking would be a requirement for world domination, I decided to join Toastmasters at work. I paid my dues and received a Practical Guide to Becoming a Better Speaker, some other leadership guide that I haven't looked through yet, along with some other general info. The Practical Guide is like the Toastmasters text book. When it came time to deliver my first speech, I flipped through the book and a section about rhetorical devices caught my eye. The sample sentence for "Simile" was: "If we deny our children an education, ignorance will grow like a cancer." The sample sentence for "Metaphor" was: "Ignorance is a cancer that must be cured." And I thought how odd of a sample sentence. The words are so in your face....for a freakin' SAMPLE sentence. Pretty intense opinion to waste on a damn sample.
Anyway, I threw together my first speech and this is how it went (theme for the meeting was "Back to School"):
You all should see what you all are wearing...or not wearing...in my head right now.
I struggled a little bit with our theme this evening. I'd written something when I first joined about facing your fears and getting out of your comfort zone. I used to work at Disney in characters and being the center of attention is a lot easier to do when you're hiding behind fur and a big fiberglass head.
Going back to school is sort of like being the center of attention for everyone whether we want it to be or not. All eyes are on you - "How was your summer?", "What did you do?", "You look different since last year", etc.
There's so much lead up to the first day of school. Shopping to be done, supplies to gather, first day outfits to plan, and bus schedules to follow.
When my brother was in elementary school, every single year on the last night of the summer before the first day of school, I'd be getting ready for bed and could hear my brother sobbing in his room. I'd duck my head in and ask him what was wrong. "I....I....I...d-on't want...t-to go t-t-to......t-to school..." I'd holler for mom and she'd come upstairs to talk to him and then head to bed myself but without crying.
It was sad and cute when he was in K-2nd grades. By the 3rd, 4th, & 5th grades, it was just silly and we'd laugh about it - sometimes while he was still crying.
He was always scared of the first day of school.
I was kinda the opposite. It was new and exciting - A DAY TO CONQUER!! And weapons for battle on that day were new shoes, a different hair style (and/or color), makeup!, and in high school, if you'd gotten a job over the summer, it was your first car.
The summer before 12th grade, I'd started working at Disney and found myself in need of reliable transportation. My dad, being the car guy he is, took me out shopping for an old beater Mercedez Benz. My reliable transportation was a 1979 240D in robins egg blue. It had the best diesel engine ruckus ever and was a complete tank.
The first day of my senior year and we were all sitting in our first class getting settled and saying the Pledge.
There was a PA announcement for a "blue Mercedez Benz with its lights on in the student parking lot". One of the guys in my class stirred in his seat and half way stood while saying, "Ha...that's MY car.", joking as if he were a baller with a Benz. I quietly stood up and walked past him to leave the classroom and go turn my car lights off.
That was my only truly victorious first day of school story I could recall.
So, when I think about today's theme, I also think about the original speech I wrote out about over coming fears. A lot of us are sort of like how my brother was - crying the night before they have to step out of their comfort zone and do something like this or having to present during account reviews. But then there are those of us that just sort of jump in and get it done and over with, which is pretty much why I'm standing up here this evening. After over coming my fear of clowns a couple years ago (therapy for that was Halloween Horror Nights and lots of rum), I decided I should overcome the next thing on my list - which is speaking infront of an audience. So, here I am and I hope I did ok with minimal "uhs".
****
And my fellow Toastmasters were kind enough to vote me Best Speaker of the evening.

Box Cleaning

I have a trunk in my office that had another box inside of it - full of random crap I haven't been through in years.
After going through 2 moves, finding a spot in atleast 3 of the rooms in our current residence, and walking past it for a few years - I decided it was time to crack that sucker open and see what surprises awaited.

Items found inside include:

1. 3 of Matt's "cool guy" magazines (soccer, rugby, and obscure creativity)
2. 1 Dead Lizard
3. 2 "The Masquerade" presented by Executive Source, Inc. Benefiting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, programs from 11/12/1999.
4. 2 3 ring binders.
5. notebook paper
6. Disney's Animal Kingdom field/training guide from 1997.
7. Set of 7 Retard Math text books from non-accredited pre-college algebra VCC class.....one is missing.
8. Mt. Dora High School Varsity Award for Football Manager from the 1993 season.
9. McNeese State University catalog for 1997-1998 (when I thought I was getting married to a golfer from Louisiana).
10. 1 picture of golfer from Louisiana
11. Graphics Technology workbook from VCC Summer 1997
12. 3 VCC Retard Math class tests - graded 83, 75, & 90
13. Peel-n-stick holiday gift tags
14. 1 dead AA battery
15. 1 tablet of 11x14 bristol board
16. 1 tablet of 11x14 medium weight tracing paper.
17. 2 Mead Comp books - 1 from Engligh class Jan 1995-May 1995
and 1 from Eng 1101 VCC Nov 1997 with a test inside: grade 88
18. Animal Kingdom Entertainment Pride Guide 1998
19. 1 brown accordian folder containing 3 VCC english papers (maybe I'll post those later), 2 English tests: graded 88 and one ungraded, 3 blank english test booklets, 1 Graphic Communication final exam: graded 81, and 1 Graphic Communication project grade sheet: graded 90. All from fall semester 1997.
20. Taxes from 1999.

Block, party of one.

Matthew is completely engrossed in Packers/Vikings MNF. Which made me think of this thing I wrote during preseason a few years back (and thought it might help my current creative bottleneck). Wrote this back in 2004. Matt & I had just moved into a place we bought together. Were 2 months away from our wedding. And Hurricane Charley came through Central Florida while we went on vacation....to Wisconsin.
Entitled, "A Country Girl Turned City Girl's Observations of the Country....in Wisconsin."
A vacation to Wisconsin. Cheese & beer. What else in there in Wisconsin? Beautiful weather and a lake front cottage was what I was told. 2 weeks before leaving I checked the weather.com. Rain and cold was the forecast. Aprehension set in. The whining soon followed. Who vacations in Wisconsin anyway?
30 mins before our plane takes off, we get to the check in counter. On edge, we get our luggage checked and hoof it to the gate. We get in our seats, and in 10 mins the plane starts moving. Without Matt's Reese's Pieces. $5 sammich on really good bread settles his beast within and then we fall asleep for the last 45 mins of the flight. We land in Midway and exit the aircraft through the marked exits located (here, here, and here) at the middle of the aircraft. Waited about 20 mins at the baggage claim. Found our bags and head to the Avis counter to claim our rental car. A round woman named, "Debbie" said she'd be able to help us. She referred us to other rental companies who were completely sold out instead. She will feel the wrath of Karen and Matt, for we are truly the Customer Service Super Heroes (future note: I'll explain later). Justice shall prevail in form of email complaints to Avis HQ. A yellow shirted man asked where we were headed and offered to give us a ride for $38 and talked about guns the whole way to Lincoln Park. We stayed that night with Matt's college buddy, Jay. Beer until 4am. Sleep until 8am. Showering in a bachelor's soap scum. Off to a rental car company who will take our debit card business. Classic in silver. City driving. Onto expressway. Off to a great start. Everything going smooth, then... STOP. Traffic congestion out of Chicago. 1hr to get about 5 miles away. Need breakfast. No stops. We finally get into Wisconsin and stop for snackins. Vacation/road trip junkfood. Little chocolate donuts and a real coke are bliss. Corn. Lotsa corn. Bong Recreational Area was noted. Drive switch. A polka radio station was found and lost. More corn. Green fields and blue skies. Aaaaaaaahmericana. Ripon & Duck Days street fest leads into Green Lake. Pop. 1100. Clean air and yelling at cows turns into following signs to Heidel House and lake air. Reminding me of summers on lake Ontario and road trip to New Hampshire. We catch up to the Parents Stephenson and the MegaMondos. The Mondos not feeling well but sweet and staying around just to have lunch with us. The Marina on Green Lake has a bar made to look like a wooden boat sliced down the middle. Dad would dig a town like this. The weather's cool and sunny. My burger had more blue cheese on it than burger. Iced tea is truly a southern thing. Homemade potato chips aren't as good as you'd think. When women men get separated-women get lost and don't return for about 15-20mins. Ripon Good Cookies are not like Archways. We said our goodbyes to the Mondos and followed the Stephensons out to the lake cottage. 100 yr old house w/one bedroom downstairs and an attic-looking upstairs that had been separated into 4.5 bedrooms. Beautiful wood and antique furniture. And one...single...lonely bathroom. And an outhouse in the front - with 2 seats. For sweethearts who share everything together. The lake is busy with boats and jetskis. Greenish murky water that you can see down about 5ft deep with weeds swaying. Not as many fish as I thought I'd be able to see but they say that the lake is about 270 ft deep so they're probably all down there. Speakin' of fish - The Friday Night Fish Fry is FABULOUS! Met up w/some fabulous people as well. Diane & Larry. Much fun. Lotsa beer. Tarter sauce that doesn't get eaten gets put back in the Tarter Sauce jug. Wisconsin recycles. Matt's dad got tackled by a large bartender. He went for a handshake and received a forceful bearhug. She could've taken him, I think. He started it though. He usually does. "Jeepers, no." oh, Jeepers, YES!! We learned that everyone here in the 70s got it on with everyone else. The Country Kitchen has great scrambled eggs and cheese sauce. Even GREATER waffle strips that taste like donut batter. Mullets run rampant in Wisconsin but I pretty much knew and expected that going in. If I didn't see any, I'd be very disappointed. K-Mart in Ripon has a very limited selection of shorts. I tried on a 6...too small. So I bought an 8. Turned out to fit exactly like the 6. Evidently I should've bought a 22W. No shorts in Wisconsin. A pathway through the woods isn't always a trail. 45degree angles are hard to walk down gracefully and are a great legs/butt workout going back up. At big family parties all the men sit outside and tell dirty jokes while the women sit inside and talk about health problems and dying. Jerry and his wife were very cool people and he was related to everyone along the street. The eggs/cheese/waffle strips at Country Kitchen are still really good when you go back the next day. Fox River Outlet Store has cheap leather, gloves, & hats. Sometimes the windows on the wallets for your ID to slide into don't have openings for your ID to slide into. Great antique shops but no thimbles or old ash trays. Naps on the dock in the sun are the greatest. Wisconsin grass is soft and fuzzy under barefeet. ou can't get cheese curds every where in Wisconsin but someone will offer to find them and sometimes they'll even get them for you. The Fine Art Fiar is really an Arts/Crafts Fair and if you say "jackass" over the loud speaker you'll get flipped off so its good to pick things back up by singing a David Gray song with a Dave Matthews song following. There are lots of flowers in Wisconsin. And CORN. Plants can grow out of roof shingles. If you go down a country road and stop to take pictures of someone's farm, you won't get shot. Pigs get REALLY big and have big pig balls. Horses lips make fun noises when they eat. If you take a picture with a horse, make sure you're standing up straight. Baby pigs are cute. There are lots of great pictures to be taken when adventuring down country roads. Sometimes mullets will follow you and try to scare you by passing infront of you and slowing down. Get ready to take them and then turn down a different road. Deer will stare back at you before running for cover. Take 3 steps and jump - just to show them you're one of them. Cheese burgers for breakfast is good. Leaving at 11am for a 7pm football game on a Monday night makes for a long day of tailgating. Beer. Lotsa beer. Most people will get up and leave when drunken chatter turns into drunken political arguements. Stimulating. The skinniest women in Wisconsin are pregnant and putting together a tailgating cookbook. Lambeau Field is pretty. Making the rain stop is fun. Cute boys sitting 10 rows up like to thave their pictures taken and are fun to play with. The Lambeau Field Pro Shop also has no thimbles. Rednecks are proud and fly their flags high. 9-10 beers will leave a funky taste in your mouth when you wake up at 4am to pee. I can only imagine what Mrs. Trojanowski's mouth must've tasted like after that handful of onions she shoved in, topped with ice cream that she ate before going to bed.
-the end-

"Have you posted anything?"

Matt asked me that just a few minutes ago.
"What second?" was my reply.
I decided to take last Friday off - sort of last minute. Figured it was best to take a 4 day weekend before EOQ madness starts.
Woke up with muscle spasms in my neck - great. Ran some errands that I needed to get done and then decided to go to Aquatica over by Sea World. That place was awesome!! We went down a 2 person rider slide and I made Willie sit up front cuz he's bigger than me so we'd go faster. We almost died!!OK - maybe not almost. Willie says we almost died but he's a pussy. When I did my assflip off the tube, I felt my hat lift up off my head so I was lookin' around for it in the water while it was still on my noggin. dork.