This here is some mustard seeds, black peppercorns, and bay leaves. Set over a low heat until they get 'fragrant'. They didn't really do that before they started toasting unless you got your face right up in it. I figured toasted was fragrant enough.
This here is what it looks like when you throw a bacon blanket over it and add the brine (shown above) and some onions and a few bottles of Guinness to it. The actual bird is breast side down cuz you want that part submerged in the brine. You'd probably actually want the entire bird submerged but I didn't have a pot big enough for that nonsense. So we gave it a bacon security blanket. Don't worry, there's bacon on the underside, too. This will sit in the fridge for 24hrs.
I see you, Turkey. You did a good job & I apprecicate the tough life you had so we could eat you.
This here's what Matt looked like when he carved up that delicious bird.